Diary of a Pawn
by The Pawn
Summary: This is my real life account on vampires.
1. AuthorNarrator's Note

The avoid any legal matters (its not like I want to draw any more attention to myself) I do not own Twilight or anything related to it.

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A/N:

Hi, you don't me and you never will. But this is my story. My real life story. Why am I putting this here where anyone can see it? Aren't I afraid of the Volturi?

The answer to that is yes, I am. But if your question was to ask me if I cared if they found me... I will say no. At least, I will say that until one appears on my doorstep to kill me. I might care then. I have to post this even if it is on a fan fiction site because you are the only people who might remotely understand. You can put yourself in my position because I used to be one of you. A fan of a harmless "fictional" story.

Then I met a real vampire who turned my life upside down. If you don't want your reality shattered, stop reading. Go on to something else. If you want to hear my story, read my account of what's happened the past three months, then go on.

So without further distraction I will say this. When I say this is mostly nonfiction I mean the events are the real part (though the details might be a bit tweaked). The names have been changed, don't bother checking my profile or anything. I won't disclose any exact information of my (or anyone else's) whereabouts

Maybe I'm delusional. I'm sure I'll get a review or two that says "Get a life" and maybe a few "You're insane"s. I really hope I'm insane. I _really_, really do.


	2. The First Weird Event

**My explanation for this "fanfic":**

**For those of you still with me, thank you. Now I know you probably don't believe this story and to be honest I don't really care if you do or not. It wouldn't change anything. I'm writing this down because I haven't had anyone to talk to while I'm going through all of _this_. I even saw a therapist, but like Bella once said, you have to tell the truth to get anything out of it.**

**Not to mention the therapist I got was crap. That's a whole other story. When I went to talk to her she said that people with post traumatic stress (that's what I was diagnosed with) need validation of the events that happened to them. She said this because she guessed I didn't want to tell her my story.**

**Well, duh. I'm not going to tell her I'm stressed out because I live a secret life with vampires. She suggested I kept a journal. I did, but they kept "mysteriously" disappearing. So here I am, writing it on this website.**

**Here's a note for Alec if he ever finds this fanfic: I told you, you should have let me keep the journal.**

**Moving on...**

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This is all going to be anonymous. I don't need the Volturi or any other psychopath after me. So I need a name, I guess. Something you all can know me by. I can't use Jane Doe. Jane is part of the Volturi. At least she is in the book. I haven't really gotten any confirmation that she, herself, is a real person.

Let's call me Jaylin. Jay, for short. I've always liked that name. It all started a few months ago with an uncomfortable task. I just had to walk outside in the dark. I'm sure its even happened to you at some point. In the dead of night you have to step outside, maybe just to the front yard, or go to the outside trash. In this case I had left my cell phone in my car. It was about twelve at night and I needed my phone which was my alarm clock.

I was a mess. I'd just had a shower, no bra, just a black oversized t-shit and green checkered pajamas. I shivered in the cold January air and quickened my pace as my bare feet hit the cold grass. I watched the shadows around me suspiciously with my keys ready to stab any foe who might see me as an easy prey. That thought alone made me smile with embarrassment.

Who would be out this time of night to see me running to my car?

Who, indeed.

I reached the door of my car and twisted the key into the door. That's when I heard it. A quiet shift of rocks kicked onto the asphalt. My head snapped up. I saw nothing in the orange lighting of the streetlights. It was ridiculous to be this jumpy. We have plenty of dogs, squirrels, and cats in the area. I knew that. So I leaned in, took my phone from the cup holder, and habitually hit the lock of my door without even thinking.

I checked the battery of my cell phone with a glance and bumped the door with my hip. It slammed shut with a terribly loud crack that made me flinch. I thought it was my car. Had I shut the door on a seatbelt? Then the light shifted. I glanced up and saw the street light falling. It creaked and groaned, then finally hit the truck across the street with an earthshaking boom.

Glass shattered from the beat up car's windows and the streetlight's bulb. Sparkling glass sprinkled across the ground. My hands went up to shield my eyes. I felt the light sting of tiny shards of glass hitting my palms. The light the bulb fizzled out and died.

The only light from the street was from the porch lights turning on down the street. My heartbeat was a roar in my ears. Dogs barked from people's backyards at the commotion. I could see people in the apartments moving to their windows. My panic struck me faster than I could think logically.

Run.

I bolted up the walkway to the stairs, and shut the door behind me before anyone could see me. By the time I locked the door behind me, I was laughing. I couldn't believe I'd reacted that way. People started to come out of their homes and talk. The owner of the truck was crazed with anger. He was shouting at everyone, why I don't know. He could just sue the city for their shotty streetlights.

At least no one had seen me. That was the weirdest thing to happen to me in a long time. Funny, how I thought about how this was going to be quite the story to tell some coworkers. Since then, I've come up with a few more interesting stories because it was that moment that led up to everything resulting in this "fan fiction."

I went to bed that night and it was the last peaceful sleep I ever had.


	3. Tequila Sunrise Eyes

The next day I went to work as usual. Well, I won't tell you the name of the company I work for. Just know that I have easy access to the _Twilight_ books there. It was no secret that I was almost clinically obsessed with them. One of my coworkers once told me, "You do know that other books exist, right?"

Well, yeah, but there's only three, almost four, books that I will read over and over and over. All of them are by "Stephenie Meyer". Anyway, my job this particular day was to put some merchandise on the shelves. Everything was going according to plan. There was nothing really unusual happening at this point. Since I'm there before the store opens there was nothing to go wrong yet.

The manager came over the intercom and warned us that he was opening the door. That was fine. I continued with my work. He must have been waiting at the door with all the other early shoppers because the moment I heard the faint sound of the doors opening I saw _him_.

I wish I could describe him to you, but I'm not about give his identity away either. I will say that he looked like a vampire. Exactly how they were supposed to look in Twilight. He was beautiful and paler than anyone I'd ever seen. His eyes were a dark gold with the smallest tint of red. We stared at one another for a moment. He was taller than me, definitely older, but he still looked young.

He also looked strong. Not like a beefcake, but like a person who went to the gym regularly. He sized me up curiously. My heart was pounding, because reading the books, and seeing the person, I instantly knew what he was. Not that I was willing to admit it.

I was doubtful of myself just the same as you probably are, reader. But as a fellow Twilight fan, you would have reacted the same as me. I mean, all of the symptoms of vampire were right in front of me. But its impossible for a book to come to life. So I made myself get a grip on reality and forced a smile. I put on my professional face.

"Can I help you?" I said. I might have been flirting. A little.

"Yes," he answered. I stopped my gasp before it could escape me. His voice. That's right. It was perfect. It was a song in the form of everyday speech. Strange. There was a prolonged silence between us, like neither of us knew what to do. My heart was still pounding against my rib cage like it was trying to escape. "Are you Jaylin?"

I smiled politely and pointed to my name badge. How else would he know me? He nodded in understanding as he saw it. He gave me his name, but like I said I'm not giving any details. What should we call him?

"Alec," he introduced extending his hand to shake mine. Alec seems appropriate. I touched his freezing hand. My mind was spinning. A smile tugged at my lips, but that's because I couldn't think of anything but how weird of a coincidence this was.

"Hi," I said.

An awkward silence. I swallowed nervously. It was intimidating to stand before someone this entrancing.

"What did you need help with?" I asked. Alec looked away and barely nodded to himself. It seemed he decided on something private. He grinned politely. The sight itself was penetrable.

"Actually its not me who needs help," he said coyly. I blinked at him curiously.

"What does that...?"

My name came over the intercom as I was called to the cash wrap up at the front of the store. I hesitated, wondering if I should abandon a customer in need. Then again, he wasn't really a customer. At least he didn't seem like he needed any help at all. I was about to leave when he caught my arm with his cold hand. My heart jumped into my throat. I couldn't help but remind myself not to wonder _what if_ he was a vampire. Then I guess it could be worse. For instance his eyes weren't red. They eyes were gold... At least they were gold_ish_.

"Jay, I'm here to help you. May I speak with you on your lunch break?" he asked. Do remember when Bella talked about "dazzling"? Nothing, absolutely nothing, compares to the real life version. It was enough to make me disgusted with myself for merely being in his presence. There's nothing more ego-destroying than standing beside him when he was looking at me like _that_.

My thoughts were spinning wildly. _He _could_ be a vampire. _

"O...kay..." I stammered like an idiot. He let go and I could breathe again. I went back to work almost hyperventilating.


	4. Lunchbreak

The rest of the workday I did what I was supposed to do. I helped customers, spoke to my managers about problems with the store, the stuff that I did everyday.

But there's this cafe in my workplace. Every time I walked by it Alec was there attracting attention, making this day different from any other day at work. He sat there at the tables looking beautiful with a cup of coffee that was slowly, and mysteriously disappearing. When I had free time I tried to watch him without looking like I was watching him. I doubt I was as sneaky as I thought I was.

So I thought... This was ridiculous. This wasn't just ridiculous, it was sad. Had I really gotten so obsessed with the books that I thought I was seeing real life vampires? How had I been so convinced by just looking at him? But every time I got closer to him I could fall into my suspicions all over again.

I shook my head. I'm not going to think every unbelievably pretty person on the planet was a vampire. I was going to be _that_ fan. The ones who think Elvis is still alive and are waiting for the mother ship to take them on a fantastic voyage. Determined as I was, the possibility still sat in the back of my mind.

My lunch break was coming. It was crawling towards me menacingly. The minutes were like seconds and I was frantic. When I looked at this Alec character over at the cafe with his newspaper and occasional book I had to stop my thoughts.

_There's no such things as vampires, there's no such things as vampires..._

Then to my utter horror, it was time for my lunch break.

_Oh god._

No, I then decided as I looked at the clock. I was not going to talk to him. He's not in charge of me. I didn't have to go talk to him. Scared for my life, I continued to work. I battled with myself. Maybe he wanted to talk about something else? That was possible wasn't it? I still was not convinced to go sit with him though, so I continued to ignore him. It worked for about fifteen minutes. Then my manager found me.

"Jaylin, aren't you supposed to be on lunch?" he asked. My eyes went wide. From where I was, I could see the cafe on the other side of the store . My stare unwillingly dropped on Alec. He was watching at me disapprovingly with his cup half raised. I wanted to melt into a puddle that moment. He'd heard. Of course he did. Vampires have extraordinary hearing...

_He is not a vampire!_ I quickly interrupted my own thoughts.

"Yeah," I said. "Sorry. I got busy and... forgot." Total lie. My manager started to walk away. I noticed the little man heading towards a safe haven. The break room. Of course! Alec couldn't be in there. There I could buy some time. Maybe he'd get bored waiting for me and leave.

I started to follow my manager. I looked down at the floor for only an instant, then when I picked up my eyes and ran nose first into a wall. Not a wall. But it felt like a wall. Alec seemed to have magically appeared right in front of me. My manager walked out of the aisle without me.

"Jay, you agreed to have lunch with me," he said disapprovingly. His perpetual smile was fading with irritation. I swallowed.

_There's no such thing as vampires._

"I changed my mind. Is there anything wrong with that?" I asked summoning up my bravado from an unknown force. Then I remembered to take off my name badge before it looked like I was badgering a customer.

"Yes," he said. "Jaylin I have a feeling you know..." He hesitated. I was immensely grateful for that hesitation. If he'd finished his sentence and said what I thought he was going to say, I might of had a stroke. Alec stopped himself. "I would just really like to have lunch with you. In the store. In public if you want. Or maybe somewhere more quiet?" He was being very kind to my needs. He thought I was worried he was going to eat me. It was obvious that we both knew what was going on more, or less. Or at least I had an idea. But my perception of reality was being stubborn.

"I think I'll have lunch in the break room," I pressed with courage I had no idea I had. I wondered if my expression gave away how frightened I really was. Then Alec's eyes flashed... something. It was like an order had been silently given to me. Like a decision had already been made.

"Let's go up to the cafe. I hear the grilled cheese is wonderful," he said. Then my feet began to move with him as he made his way to where his seat was. Perplexed I had thought about what had just happened. I'd made the decision to leave, why was I doing this? It was like I wasn't in control of my body anymore.

This was beyond dazzling. I wasn't moving myself. My legs were just moving me. He took me to his table barely noticing how confused I was with my own actions. He had a meal already laid out on one end of the table. The other end had three books sitting on top of one another. The _Twilight_ series. I guess it was a good thing I wasn't in control of my body this moment, because I think I was ready for a panic attack. I sat down at the end with the food and warily looked at the stack of books.

We sat in silence for a moment.

"Are you okay?" he asked looking not so concerned. He looked worried that I was going to make a scene. I just needed a moment.

_There's no such thing as vampires._

"Yes," I finally said. Then I had control of myself again. I leaned against the backing of the chair and stared at the sandwich with the oozing cheese. I sighed. He waited for me. It was so clear what he wanted to say. I just didn't know why he wanted to tell me.

This wasn't real. This wasn't happening.

"You know what I am," Alec declared. I winced like I'd just gotten a shot at the doctor's office. I was expecting it, but it didn't make it any more pleasant.

"What do you mean?" I asked, playing dumb. I'm not about to play along with this sort of game in case it wasn't true. What if this was just a mean trick someone played on fans? Unlikely, I know. But I would have accepted anything other than my own suspicions.

His mouth twitched into a grim smile. He nudged the books toward me. My stomach wrenched. I couldn't eat a sandwich in this position.

"You've read them?"

"Yes.".

"Are you a fan?"

"I enjoyed them," I admitted carefully. I enjoyed them very, _very_ much. I still enjoy them even after all of this. I spent my free time reading fan fiction on the internet. I'm particularly found of imprinting stories. I even have a few of my own (on another name of course). That didn't mean I was going to confess this.

"Do you believe in them?" he asked.

"No," I responded quickly. His smile never faltered. Those tarnished gold eyes bore into mine. I shrugged. "They're just books. It's fiction."

"That's true," he said looking at them. They made a nice little stack on the table. "But do you believe in what they're about?" I was careful to keep my expression placid. I'm not going to fall for it. I'm living a fantasy in a dream. This isn't true. This isn't happening.

I swallowed.

"This isn't funny," I finally said. He snorted.

"What isn't funny?" he chuckled.

"This," I said nodding to our situation.

"Be more specific," he pressed. I hesitated.

"_This_," I said. I felt a smile spreading as I was beginning to adapt to being in his presence. He waited quietly. "What are you trying to tell me?"

"What do you think-?"

"No, no. Stop trying to put words in my mouth. Just tell me whatever it is you're trying to tell me," I said surprising him and myself with my aggressiveness. My words spilled out so quickly that I wasn't sure if he heard.

Of course he heard.

He sighed annoyed and gently leaned backward. He nudged my plate toward me. Maybe he was afraid I was going into shock. I glanced at it and back up again. If I tried to swallow anything more along with the information that my favorite book turned out to be true, I might choke. I pushed it back.

We had a minor plate pushing war, back and forth, but it only distracted him for so long.

"I don't want to play this game, Jay. Time is precious," he said. I blinked at him. "I'm trying to tell you I am one of..." He tapped the top book of the Twilight stack. "These." My mind was having a hard time looking from him to the book and seeing the same subject.

_There's no such thing as vampires_.

"You're a book?" I said stupidly to stray from what he obviously wanted to tell me. Now I had pissed off the exasperated man.

"I'm tired of being sensitive to your shock. I'm a vampire you silly girl," he said impatiently.


	5. The Game

**A/N Note: If anyone's wondering why I'm adding so fast, this is pretyped. I only have a limited amount of time to get this online.**

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I stayed still for a moment. Luckily our playful banter had given me a little time to adjust so I didn't have panic attack in front of everyone.

"A vampire," I repeated breathlessly. He just stared scrutinizing my reactions. I nodded slowly. Then I forced an uneasy laugh. Alec leaned forward, folding his hands on the surface of the table.

"The books are true," he said. My laugh gave out short. He looked away. "I don't know if the characters are. But the facts. The abilities. They are true." When his eyes met mine they were nothing less than sincere. He waited for my reaction. I had none to give.

Then he sighed impatiently and exasperated.

"You need proof," he muttered angrily. In an instant his faux empathy returned. I just stared at him. He looked at the plastic table and then smiled happily. He easily moved the books and my sandwich to an empty on the floor. He placed his hands on either side of the table.

"Put your hands over your ears," he said. My hands were shaking as I obeyed. His hands clenched onto the table. One swift jerk, that was all it took to snap the table in half with an ear splitting crack. One half fell noisily to the floor. I stared at it in shock. Heads turned and stared at us.

To my horror and embarrassment, I started to cry. Alec's face twisted in confusion. Then I couldn't stop myself. I moved my hands from over my ears to my eyes. The fear caught up with me, making sobs wrack through my body. I covered my mouth and held my breath. Alec didn't know how to react, which was more or less amusing looking back on it. He had no idea what to do with a hysterical human.

You'd think that's where vampires would specialize.

He gave me a minute waiting for my sobs to turn into hiccups. Then we both noticed the cafe worker, a girl I knew coming over to see the broken table. Alec apologized and she told him over and over that it was no problem. She tossed me a worried glance, but we didn't know each other well enough for us to say anything to one another.

I smiled at her, trying to assure her I was alright. But I don't think I was very convincing. We moved tables as she went to get the cafe manager. Alec and I were alone again at a more secluded table. When everything was cleaned up and the workers left me alone Alec leaned over the table.

"I'm not going to harm you, Jay," he said. I hiccupped in response. He started to look truly concerned. He waited a moment then whispered, "You're causing a scene."

"Sorry," I said. I checked the time. It was five minutes past the time to go back to work. I couldn't move though. Alec watched me. He suddenly stood up and extended his hand to me. I stared at it through blurry eyes. The indescribably pale hand beckoning me was haunting. Something I had only seen in my imagination.

"Come on. You're taking a sick day," he said gently. Once again I was not moving on my own. My hand lifted into his cold one. He took me and towed me onto the store floor. He easily found my manager. I stood like an idiot standing in front of the man who signed my paychecks while holding a vampire's hand.

"Jaylin," my manager said shocked. I was still crying soundlessly. The tears just kept pouring and I kept sniffling, taking spasms of deep breaths. I couldn't speak. Luckily Alec had no problem taking control of the situation.

"Hello sir. I'm sorry to bother you, but there's been a death in the family. We need Jaylin immediately," Alec lied. I was putting on a very good show of a distraught family member. My manager nodded quickly. Suddenly my muscles loosened. I had control of my body again. "For the rest of the week as well. We have to travel out of state."

"Of course. I'm so sorry for your loss," my manager said quickly. I acknowledged his condolences with a nod. Alec led me quickly to the break room. Without speaking we went to the break room. I picked up my purse, just waiting for my mind to start working again. My brain couldn't process a single thought. I was just moving.

It was raining today which was nothing surprising. How could Alec have gotten here without cloud cover?

_This is real._

That moment something snapped, awakening me. The gears in my mind started to turn again. The tears stopped. I reached into my purse and scrambled around for my keys. When I found them, they mysteriously slipped from my hand into Alec's with such a smooth action that I barely even noticed it. I took him to my car.

He stopped to stare at it. His nose wrinkled in disgust. I paused too. Of course I'm not going to tell you what kind of car it is. That information is a bit too specific considering the events that were soon to follow. However, I will tell you that the car is almost as old as me. He was about as pleased with my car as any vampire from _Twilight_ would be.

However, he was still being sensitive, so he opened my door and got on the driver's side. I got in and sat down. Alec turned the key in the ignition. Music came to life, blaring through the speakers at a volume that was deafening to me. It must have been like having a amplifier in Alec's head to him. I reached over to turn the volume down for him.

He looked at me for a moment and then pulled the gear shift to reverse. I immediately switched my gaze toward the windshield watching the water run down the glass. My thoughts were spinning wildly now. I tried to pull together everything I wanted to know in order from what I wanted to know most, from the things I was simply curious about.

Halfway home we got caught in traffic. Alec was annoyed. It's kind of funny to see him annoyed about something as stupid as traffic. Living life as fast as his kind made him impatient. He noticed my staring. He shot a look back at me with his beautiful face.

"What?" he asked. "Are you ready to speak now?"

"Yes," I responded. "I'm sorry for making a big deal back there." He gripped the steering wheel and looked straight ahead.

"I suppose I should have seen it coming. This is my first time too," he said. My brow furrowed.

"First time what?"

"Dealing with one of you. Like this," he said. By one of me I assumed he meant human. "I guess I couldn't have expected it to go exactly by the book. If the book is completely true, Bella had plenty of suspicions before she knew. She had lots of time to adjust to the truth." My heart hammered as he spoke as Bella as a real person. It was strange. I sat back against the seat and thought.

"Okay," I said readying myself. "Assuming this is all true, then why did you track me down? There's a lot of Twilight fans." Alec snorted.

"I didn't seek you out because you're a Twilight fan," he said. "That was just a huge bonus." His eyes scanned the traffic desperate for an opening so he could change lanes. He looked distracted as he spoke. "I came to you because I want to win the Game." I don't know why, but the way he said it made me think it had to be capitalized.

"What game?"

"The Game is something vampires play. Its an age old sport that I was surprised wasn't mentioned in the books. Though I have a theory that Alice, assuming she is real, was once a victim of the Game. It's where a mediator assigns a victim, a human. For that human there are two vampires. A protector and a predator. The Game ends when the victim is dead. If it is of natural causes, the protector wins, if the predator kills them, then they win," he explained.

I fell silent as I tried to digest this whole new barrage of information. He glanced at me for an instant as if to make certain I wasn't relapsing into hysteria.

"Do you understand?" Alec asked. I nodded.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm the victim?"

"Very good," he said.

"And you're the protector," I clarified. He lifted his eyebrows with a grin.

"Lucky for you." Lucky me.

The rain slowed to a light drizzle. We were quiet again. Traffic picked up and Alec wasted no time trying to get in front of every car on the entire road. I felt oddly safe though. I'd been in plenty of speeding cars before and somehow it comforted me to be going faster than everyone else. Alec was easy to trust, maybe because I knew the likeliness of a vampire getting into an accident was microscopic.

"Are there any rules to this Game?" I asked tentatively. Alec smiled.

"You're a smart one," he said pleased. I was glad he couldn't see how proud I was with myself for impressing a mythical monster. "Yes. Rule number one, you cannot change the human. Rule number two, you cannot tell the human. Rule number three, you cannot threaten anyone the human is affiliated with." I waited for more.

"That's it?" I asked. He nodded. "You broke rule two," I pointed out.

"I did," Alec admitted. I thought on that for a moment.

"Why?"

"Just to change things up a bit. The mediator who assigned you is dead so now is the perfect time to cheat. I'm very experienced at this game," Alec said easing as he was suddenly more comfortable in the car. He frequently looked behind him in the mirror.

"Next question," he said.

"If Twilight is real how could the vampires let it be published?" I asked. "How does the author know all of this? Was it written by a vampire?"

"I don't know for sure. You know we vampires are nomads. The closest we have to a government is the Volturi. Either they don't mind, or for some reason they can't track whoever is behind the book. With Bella's fabled gift of 'immunity' it might be possible," he said thoughtfully. Then he chewed his lip in thought. "Or..."

"There's a third option?" I asked.

"Or maybe there are vampires who want to come out of hiding," Alec said with a shrug. I stared at him. Vampires come out of hiding? Showing the world they were anything, but fiction?

"That would be stupid," I said. Alec shot me a quick side glance.

"Why is it stupid?" he asked almost defensively.

"Because humans out number you. One on one you guys completely have the upper hand. But there's _billions_ of us," I said thinking it over. Alec barked out a laugh so loud that it startled me. He didn't stop laughing for about two minutes according to the clock on my dashboard. I impatiently waited for him to explain himself.

"Think about it, Jaylin," he chuckled. "One army of... countless humans against one vampire. Well trained soldiers with M16 rifles or whatever guns they're using nowadays. Bullets will barely penetrate us, they could barely even catch us. Tanks are slow and clumsy. We could rip through them like paper. We are self healing, nearly indestructible. Humans are mortal. Who's more likely to win?"

Damn, he was right.

"What about werewolves?" I brought up smugly. His smile fell and then rose again.

"I've never met one. I've never met anyone who has," he said.

"Maybe no one has ever encountered one and lived?" I suggested.

"The Cullens have."

"Assuming they're real," I pointed out. He grinned.

"Assuming they're real," he admitted. I was feeling a little smug in my seat. Maybe it was just pathetic that I understood all that I did about Twilight. I've read the books cover to cover. I was bouncing in my seat waiting for the movie whenever it comes out. I had already preordered Breaking Dawn.

"You really don't believe in werewolves?" I asked Alec.

"Or fairies or ghosts," he said. I smiled. "Next question."

"Do you have any special abilities? Like Edward's mind reading?" I prayed to every deity I've ever heard of that he did not have mind reading powers. Alec shrugged.

"Sort of. It's not so special though. Do you remember how Bella mentioned dazzling in the book?" I nodded. "All vampires have a strong sense of persuasion. There are many vampires, like myself, who have an extreme sense of persuasion. It's called suggestion. We suggest it and somehow your brain performs the task of obliging that suggestion. It works on vampires as well if they don't know how to fight it." I remembered how he'd somehow convinced me to have lunch with him. How sometimes it seemed I wasn't in control of my body.

"Yes, I used it on you," he answered my unspoken thought without shame. Suddenly I was a little mad. How invasive is that? Less invasive than tuning into your thoughts, but invasive none the less.

"That's terrible. You make people do what they don't want to do?" I questioned. He raised a finger quickly to interrupt me.

"No. I make them want to do what I want to do. It's about changing the will," he said. I'm sure there was something philosophical about that power. I wasn't about to bring it up though. "Think about it. The jedi do it in Star Wars." I thought about that. Had this vampire just compared himself to a jedi?

Before I could thoughtlessly stray away from the situation with the mental picture of Alec watching Star Wars with a bunch of sci-fi fans, he interrupted me.

"Next question," he said. Of course, there was the question I'd been avoiding.

"Why am I a victim in this Game?" I asked almost shyly. I was nervous for the answer. Alec treated it like any other question I had.

"You have the least amount of people who would miss you," he said. It was true. My parents were dead. My dad had died when I was five and my mom followed when I was eighteen leaving my sister with only enough money to cover our family's debts. My sister was god-knows-where having gotten into some hardcore drugs in her later teens.

Last I heard she was living in a car halfway across the continent. We didn't try to get in touch with each other. I had a grand total of one friend who wasn't in town this week. He lived downstairs from me in my apartment...

This is harder to write than I thought it would be. I'm kind of overwhelmed. I think that's all I'll write for today...


	6. The Beginning of Alec's Obnoxious Reign

Well, I started a whole new account just for this story and it turns out that you have to wait two days to post a story. So here I am, recovered from yesterday and writing again.

Now where was I?

Oh yes. Alec and I were just coming home. That was a lighter subject than neighbor and my past. He drove straight to my apartment without needing any direction from me. Not like this was a huge surprise. He stalked me to work, why wouldn't he know where I live? He just needed to know which parking space was mine. He parked and we walked around the building. We both looked across the street. There were two construction workers slicing up the fallen streetlight from last night and tossing it in the back of a wood chipper. The truck it had fallen on had long since been towed.

I hesitated and then suddenly realized something. Last night when I'd gone to my car to get my phone. What exactly _had_ knocked over that streetlight? While I was lost in my thoughts, Alec placed his hand on the small of my back. That was enough to rattle me back down to reality. He led me away and up to my apartment. Funny how he was leading me around my own home.

He groaned as he reached the top stair before my door. I questioned him with a glance.

"The dog," he said. Oh right.

Jasper...

The _dog_ Jasper, not the vampire for those of you concerned. Alec made a 'hmph' sound as I fumbled with my keys.

"I seem to recall a 'no pets' sign in the apartment's office," Alec said. Naturally, I went on the defensive. Jasper was a very close friend, animal or not. He was a part of my family.

"My landlord saved Jasper when he was just a puppy. He belonged to a homeless woman who was beating him. She bought him off of her, but her son was allergic. So she gave him to me. I'm the exception to that rule," I said finally getting the key in the hole. A booming bark came to the door. I could hear dog nails clicking on the linoleum.

"You're the exception to a lot of rules," Alec commented under his breath. Maybe I wasn't supposed to hear it, it was very faint. Then he smiled at me. "_Jasper_?"

"He came with the name," I explained. That was true. Unfortunately it was also the reason I fell madly in love with him. Jasper was my favorite character. My neighbor had once told me I had an odd attraction to emotionally tormented men. I guess he's right.

I pushed the door open that always stuck to the doorway with my shoulder. Jasper stood in the doorway snapping his jaws. I was momentarily startled. Jasper's not exactly a small dog. He's an Alaskan malamute to be exact, but he always greeted me warmly. Then I realized the large dog wasn't barking at me. He was barking at Alec.

"Jazzy, stop it!" I ordered. Lot of good that did. Jasper crouched on his front paws and bared his teeth with a low growl.

"Do you mind if I try?" he asked. I shrugged. Alec smirked. He crouched down to the dog's height on his own haunches and released a deafening roar. I jumped about a mile high. Jasper stopped immediately and whined. I have never, ever seen a dog go from barking mad to whining pathetically that quickly. Then like nothing had happened, Alec stood up with perfect postured and calmly let himself inside the house.

He spun around and took a whiff of the air. He probably just smelled a lot of dog. That's all I smell in my house.

"Nice home," he said. Alec was probably just being polite. It was barely a one bedroom apartment. There were four rooms in total like a square divided into perfect quarters. Bathroom, bedroom, living room, and kitchen.

"Thank you," I said. I walked over to Jasper. His eyes were wide and glassy like a puppy's. My reaction to Alec hadn't been much different. I crouched onto the floor and patted him reassuringly. It took a moment, but soon Jasper's tail was wagging again.

From that point on, it was kind of like a nature show. You know, where the male exerts his dominance and takes charge of the pack. It was strange to watch. Especially with Jasper still on his belly on the floor.

"Very good then. I have a few house rules," Alec said. I curiously observed as his stature changed from sympathetic to leadership. He seemed to forget entirely that this was _my_ home. "You will tell me if you are bleeding at all. A papercut, bloody nose, or womanly matters, I need to be warned." My eyebrows went up at the blatant mentioning of womanly matters. He either didn't notice the look on my face or he didn't care.

"Also, you are not to go anywhere unaccompanied," he added looking straight at me. He waited for a response. Even Jasper looked to me. His brown eyes gazed into mine reflecting my thoughts. _Is he serious?_

"Um," I said clearing my throat. I stood up from my place beside Jasper and brushed my hands on the legs of my pants to wipe off the loose dog hair I'd gotten on me. "Do you think you're moving in?"

"I am," he said matter of factly.

"What?" I said the confusion and appall slipping into my tone. He gazed at me with those golden, almost orange eyes. I quickly looked away not wanting to be a victim of his superior dazzling abilities. "That's a bit forward, don't you think? I can't have a vampire living in my apartment and... oh my god..." Realization poured into my mind. I'd been so distracted before I didn't even notice it before.

"What?"

"You made me get the _week _off work? I don't have the money to get the week off! Are you insane? I live paycheck to paycheck!" I found my voice rising. He snorted.

"_That_ is what you're worried about? I can't watch you as closely at work. It would be simpler if we settled into a routine first," he explained with a tone that might as well have added "Duh!" at the end. I couldn't help but stare at him incredulously.

"I cannot live here without paying rent or buying food," I said clearly enunciating each syllable of my sentence as though it would help him understand. It didn't.

"I will pay for it," he said mocking me. Then he casually draped himself across my couch, taking up nearly the whole thing. The black leather didn't even shift under his weight he'd fallen with such grace. I guessed vampires had a way of accumulating money over the years, but it didn't make me anymore comfortable with the idea. Funny how an incredibly handsome man throwing money at you and insisting on moving in was not nearly as appealing as it sounded in _Twilight_.

I have a new respect for Bella, because I didn't have the strength to protest. Maybe it was a result of Alec's suggesting, but it somehow didn't matter at this point. I was exhausted. I went to the kitchen with Jasper close behind me. I pulled the refrigerator door open purely out of habit. There was nothing I wanted to eat or drink. I was deathly afraid I was going to throw up anything I tried to put in my mouth. I just needed a moment to myself to take in everything I learned that day.

Jasper whined softly. I patted his head. I heard the television click on and the anchorman chatter on in the other room. Meanwhile I stared at the contents of my refrigerator and thought. Thank god he didn't have Edward's gift of reading thoughts.

What was I supposed to do? What could I have done? Another wave of nausea hit me. I really _was_ fragile.

_Stupid vampires_... Never thought I'd think that with any seriousness. This was ridiculous. I shouldn't feel this awkward in my own home. When I reentered the living room, Alec's eyes turned to me instantly. It almost startled me.

"Just sit down, Jay," he told me. Reluctantly I did, being sure to stay at the opposite side of the couch. Jasper casually tried to jump up as well. One growl from Alec sent him straight to the doggie bed on the carpet. Suddenly we were a strange group of beings, not quite a family, but certainly a pack.

One dog, one vampire, and one human.

Funny how I was thinking like this and there weren't even any werewolves involved.


	7. Doubts

**AN Note: Seeing as how no one has killed me yet, I'm going to continue with adding my journal on here. It's been hard to write more, I'm a little busy these days. I can hardly get a minute alone to sneak online.**

Alec tried to speak about the current events. Something about the war in Iraq, how nice a family he encountered there was, then how humans were frivolous with fossil fuels because we wouldn't live to see the day we would be paying for our actions. The vampires would.

It wasn't making me talk. So he changed the channel to something more pleasant. An old episode of Spongebob. Yeah, I was as surprised of his choice as you probably are. However, slipping back into something that was childishly comfortable worked. He certainly knew how to calm a girl's nerves. I don't know what Alec expected to get out of watching it, but we discussed more normal topics. Mostly how none of the physics in Spongebob made any sense.

Like a vampire had any right defending the laws of nature and physics.

Then to my utter embarrassment, I confessed that I memorized the theme song to almost every cartoon show on Nickelodeon.

"I used to babysit," I explained.

"Yes. Of course," Alec said unconvinced. A commercial came on. There was nothing more to distract us and he had me all warmed up ready for another barrage of incredible information. I felt myself shrinking back noisily into the faux leather upholstery of the couch. "Now I have a few questions myself."

"Here we go," I muttered. My heart began its thunderous pounding again. He half smirked.

"Relationships: What people do you have contact with?" he asked. I looked at him confused. "Friends? Boyfriends? Family?" I sighed as I suddenly realized why he needed this information.

"This is Game talk isn't it?"

"Yes," he said impatiently.

"I have one good friend. My girlfriend downstairs," I said. Alec nodded his understanding. We need a name for him to. Let's just call him Will. We always joked that I was the Grace to his Will. We talked about boyfriends and relationships. When his brothers came over to visit I always had to come over to support him. He was my best friend.

"And where is she?" Alec asked. I smiled to myself.

"It's a he, actually. He might as well be a girl though. It's our little private joke. Will's coming home his business trip this weekend," I said. Alec nodded slowly. He thought for a moment. Then he stroked his chin absently. It was an odd over dramatic gesture. But if you ever know a vampire you'll know that they live for dramatic effects.

Alec is no exception, the big ham.

"Wonderful," he said sarcastically. Alec stood up and began to pace suddenly and gracefully. It was fascinating watching him walk back and forth, back and forth. He paused with one finger raised. Then he shook his head. "Alright then. We'll spend a few days here. Until your friend comes back. Then we'll have to act."

"Act?" I questioned.

"Yes. We'll probably leave," he looked out the window. The sun had found an opening spot in the clouds. He seemed reassured by this.

"Leave where?" I asked. He was puzzled for a moment absently chewing his nails.

He suggested a location I'm not stupid enough to post for anyone to see. My brow crinkled at the suggestion.

"Are you joking? Why there?"

"The weather is nice," he said.

"When are we coming back?"

"Never," he answered immediately. I stared back at him. He waited for my response. I had none to give. What do you say to that? "You cannot stay here with _him_ around."

"Who's _him_?" _Him_ was the predator of the Game. _Him_ is... oh let's call him...

"Nicholas. I can't afford to lose to him, and you certainly can't either. We're in the Game. We cannot just sit here and wait for his next move. By now he's already found that I told you everything. I broke a rule. He's going to break some rules as well. He already broke a big one," he said. I had to go back and think about what rules he was talking about.

Rule 1: No changing the human.

Rule 2: No telling the human.

Rule 3: No threatening anyone affiliated with the human.

Rule 3... I gasped.

"Would he really do that?" I asked. I couldn't think of someone killing another person just to lure another. I had visions of my friend screaming in pain. I thought of James making Bella escape her vampire bodyguards to save her mother, by offering herself instead. Either that part wasn't accurate or James wasn't fond of playing by the rules either.

"He would," I answered myself. I looked up. "Why did you break the rules if you knew it would hurt other people?"

"I didn't start this whole rule breaking business," Alec said suddenly defensive. "You never showed any relationship with anyone. I thought I would just whisk you away. Make the Game more difficult for Nicholas." My eyes went wide in a sudden rage.

"Well, I must have misunderstood," I said sarcastically. "As long as the Game is more interesting for the players, who cares who gets hurt?" Alec's eyes darkened catching me off guard. He sighed and his eyes became lighter again.

"Don't do that," he said irritated. As livid as I was, I was not about to test a vampire's patience. I mean, would you? So instead I stood up and went to the refrigerator to test my appetite. Jasper had calmed down. His nose was buried in his blankets, but he still watched Alec carefully. The tension was thick as we both seemed to have had enough of each other, and we hadn't even been together an entire day.

I found some leftover Chinese from two nights ago.

Half an hour passed and I heard the channel change in the other room. In the kitchen I ate slowly as I thought. Funny, how it seemed that everything was taking so long to process. I wondered a few things, still too flustered with Alec to speak with him. He seemed to feel the same.

In my small apartment I could easily peer into the living room. His knee was bouncing anxiously up and down. I formulated my questions while glaring at him. Alec didn't pay attention to my glaring. His channel flipping was getting obnoxious. It's a pet peeve of mine.

What was strange was that was made me get up to talk to him.

He watched me warily.

"How was your aged Chinese food?" he asked blandly. So that was the thing about vampires. They look perfect. They sound perfect. Then you come across one that's a complete jerk and you couldn't care how beautiful he was. I ignored the comment.

"We have a few problems to work out," I said to him. He lowered the hand with the remote. He patted the seat beside him while rolling his eyes. I didn't move.

"Sit," he said. His eyes made that strange flash again. My legs started to feel tired, my body was falling limp with the new will to rest. Despite how much I wanted to, I didn't sit though. He was not going to command me.

"When was the last time you fed?" I asked him.

"Last night," he answered.

"When are you going to feed again?" He was quiet a moment.

"I have some questions for you. Are you going to fight me the whole way as I try to protect you?"

"Only as I see fit. For instance, I'm not going to some random location with you. Also I'm back to work tomorrow to tell my boss that this was a mistake and I don't need the week off. You don't need to pay for anything. One more thing, we're going to speak to this Nicholas guy," I said. The last one was an idea I'd been toying with since Alec first told me about the predator of the Game. Alec's mouth fell open.

"All of those are out of the question," he stated. Then he leaned forward in my couch. "And why the _hell_ do you want to meet Nicholas?" It was not one of my more brilliant ideas, but I would do anything to get out of this stupid, stupid Game.

"You broke the rules. You're disqualified. I think you should forfeit," I said. Alec looked at me like I'd just fluently spoken a dead language.

"It does not work like that," he said. "If I forfeit, you and I both die." I folded my arms across my chest. To this day I'm not sure why we both have to die in a forfeit. I'll find a way to bring it up in casual conversation and get back to you.

"Who's going to kill you?" I asked in disbelief. It's not like you can just stake a vampire and be done with it. He shook his head and looked at the ground. It was clear he saw no point to the conversation.

"Traditionally, the mediator. They are there to referee," he said. My brow furrowed.

"But I thought the mediator was dead?"

"She is," Alec said.

"How-?"

"Nicholas killed her," he said before I could even finish my sentence. He folded his arms across his chest triumphantly. "Do you really want to try to negotiate with a person like that?"

"I want to negotiate," I said stubbornly. I didn't really. But I did want to live my life like I was before. I didn't want to have Will, or even Jasper, in danger of someone over a stupid Game. Alec started to say something, but he was at a loss for words. He stood up and paced.

"You're unbelievable," he said. The way he said it wasn't nice. He stood up in my face looking down at me from his full height. I straightened my posture trying to make myself as tall as I could but I was still no match for him. His eyes flashed angrily. Then he reached out and poked me, what looked like a gentle poke but with was like someone had jabbed me with a broom handle.

"Ow!" I complained. The next morning I had a very colorful bruise.

Alec didn't care so much. Maybe vampires as nice as Edward really _were_ fictional. "Let's get this straight. I am the big scary 'mythological' creature. I have incredible strength, speed, and abilities. I am trying to protect you from certain death. You should do as I say without question." It was getting easier and easier to defy those dark golden eyes.

"You are not trying to protect me. You are trying to win," I accused. He hesitated.

"There's no difference," he said. I turned to face him.

"That's not the point," I said. It was kind of a stupid thing to say. I wasn't even sure what the point was. It wasn't late, but I was exhausted. My muscles were loose and body was heavy, though I was still just as irritated. Alec stared at me for too long. I felt scrutinized under his gaze. His hand fell on my shoulder.

"You're going to have to trust me," he said comfortingly. "I _love_ to win." I shivered at those words. They were oddly electrifying coming from a perfect looking man. My shiver made him chuckle softly. Suddenly the hand on my shoulder snaked around me, under my hair to my other side. He guided me toward the bedroom. Jasper wagged his tail and started to fall in step behind us.

Alec turned to give him a warning glance. Jasper came to a dead stop, confused at the reason that someone would want him to spend the night outside of the bedroom.

"Jazzy, come," I said merely out of defiance. Jasper jogged to keep up with us. I went to my room unashamed of the mess of clothes that covered most of the floor like a lumpy carpet. Jasper leapt onto the bed and walked a circle before curling into a ball. Alec watched him and then turned to me.

"You let the dog sleep in your bed with you?" he asked.

"Yup," I said searching for my clean clothes pile. I found it and obtained an oversized t-shirt. Then also the most comfortable pair of pajama pants I owned. I looked at the vampire. He stared right back at me. I actually had to gesture for him to turn around for him to figure out what I was talking about. He sighed impatiently and muttered something about foolish modesty under his breath. You'd think a vampire born in an age of chivalry would be a tad more gentlemanly.

"You know you shouldn't do that," Alec said as I pulled my head through the hole of the shirt.

"Do what?" I asked already not caring about what he had to say.

"Let the dog on the bed," he said staring at my bedroom wall. "A household is a pack and every pack needs its alphas. You, simply because of you're being human, are an alpha. You need to put boundaries between you and the beta, the dog. He might think he's the alpha if you let him sleep with you."

The moment I finished tying the drawstring of my pajama pants he turned around.

"He protects me. I feel safe with him," I said nodding the dog that was already half asleep on my comforter.

"You have me to protect you now. Who do you think would do a better job. A dog or a vampire?" I was glad he was so smug as he said this so I could stomp his spirits with the heel of my foot.

"Dogs are more loyal than vampires. You don't have to worry about them turning on you," I said. To my immense pleasure he was completely shocked that I'd had the gall to say such a thing. I walked over to the bed and tucked myself in.

But as tired as I was I couldn't get sleep. So I spent the night watching the shadows. I watched the red numbers of my cheap little digital clock. Three hours went by and my heart was still pounding. It was pounding like I was running.

A hand rested on mine, right where the blood flowed strongest on the center of my wrist. I screamed bloody murder.

When I opened my eyes and looked at the person next to me it wasn't a red eyed monster. It was a beautiful pain in the ass sitting beside me on the bed on top of my covers. Jasper had picked up his head. When he saw that nothing was wrong he sighed irritated and lowered his head back onto his paws. Me? I couldn't help but stare. How often had I thought Bella was so lucky to have her own personal protector every night to keep her company? Alec is no Edward though.

"How can you not be asleep? You were so tired," Alec asked. I couldn't answer the question. I was too busy noticing the fact that he was in my bed. Remember what Alec said about alphas and other pack members sleeping in their bed?

My thoughts exactly. Pushy, domineering vampire...

"Get off my bed," I told him.

"No, Jay. I'm staying right here. I need to watch you," he said sternly. I stared at him in the blue moonlight from the window. "Go to sleep."

"I can't sleep with you here," I said. There was something unsettling about having a vampire in my bed. Even if he was fully clothed and sitting on top of the covers whereas I was under them. He still didn't make any movement to step off my bed. He just slipped down on the mattress so he was lying down and faced the ceiling. His hands fell across one another over his chest as he tapped his fingers anxiously.

"Go to sleep, Jay."

"Leave me alone," I muttered into my pillow as I flopped myself on my stomach.

"You know what always bothered me about Twilight?" Alec said casually. I gave a heavy sigh to show my irritancy. If he wanted me to sleep then why wouldn't he shut up? "Bella couldn't be Edward's Cantante. Those are impossible to resist.."

"That would be the point of the story," I muttered impatiently. "Somehow Edward found the strength. It's love."

"She should have been dead the second she walked into Biology," he said mostly to himself. I turned to look at him over my shoulder. He was looking at the door of my bedroom. Not studying it, but drifting in his thoughts alone. "He couldn't have fallen in love with her at first sight. So love wasn't holding him back."

"Maybe it was protection for his family's secret?" I suggested. He snorted.

"The family itself is an unfathomable concept," he said. That's one of Alec's favorite words. Unfathomable. I personally found it annoying. But I wasn't going to sleep and neither was he obviously. I decided to play along with his little debate.

"So according to you, Bella and Edward's relationship is impossible, no one can resist a Cantante, and there are no such things as werewolves?"

"Precisely," he said.

"Maybe you should be more open minded," I said. "You _are_ a mythical creature." I couldn't believe I was having this conversation. Naturally, he wouldn't let up. He was determined to convert me to doubt.

"Also, Carlisle is an impossible character. No vampire could ever come near a hospital, let alone work in one, for that long. It's not true. The whole thing is a made up story," he said. I turned around to face him. Alec looked perplexed that I was willing to entertain his theories. His jaw was clenched that I was still arguing him. He sighed.

"But people bleed in public all the time. You have some resistance otherwise you couldn't walk among humans," I argued.

"We have temporary self control, but we cannot be in a place full of bleeding victims all day long. It would be maddening," he insisted.

"I believe all of Twilight. I even believe the characters are real," I said stubbornly. "Maybe the gory details aren't the same. The locations, the exact names, or the history. But somewhere there's a 'Bella and Edward'. Though I don't know if Bella is changed at this point or not. I guess we have to wait for the next book to find out." Alec chuckled grimly.

"As though_ you _would know," he said. I rolled my eyes.

"Right. I forgot. I'm the ignorant human," I muttered sarcastically. He didn't say anything to that. Most likely he agreed with me.

"The mere concept is completely unfathomable," he whispered to himself. I was starting to get frustrated. This guy just wouldn't drop the subject!

"So are vampires," I snapped, trying futily to hide my annoyance in my tone. I spread my arms wide to motion our dark surroundings. "And yet here we are."

"Families as large as the Cullens, one of us working as a doctor, celibate vampires refusing to drink humans, the angelic hero who can resist a Cantante..." he muttered. "It's ridiculous."

"So after spending the entire day convincing me that creatures from a book are completely real, you're going to tell me the events within that book are impossible?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes," he said.

"_That_ is impossible," I said. He turned to look at me. "If vampires had absolutely no control over their blood lust than there would be no vampires. How would anyone be able to bite a human and not kill them if someone wasn't able to resist their blood?" Alec exhaled.

"Don't pretend like you understand," he said. Alec was just mad because I was right, I still believe that to this day. He'd never admit it though. With a huff I turned my back to him and shrugged the comforter over my shoulder.

Infuriating, insufferable, intolerable vampire. Wait a minute...

_Celibate vampires refusing to drink human blood_

Did any of you readers catch that too? It took me a while to realize that he thought a strict diet of animal blood was impossible. Which meant only one thing. He had a diet consisting of human.

"You don't believe vampires can live on animals alone?" I asked hesitantly. His dark gold eyes flashed at me. The golden eyes with an orange tint. Red and yellow make orange. Red eyes... He must have heard my heart rate speed up.

"It's... too difficult," he said looking ashamed. Oh no.

"But you're eyes. They're golden. Like Edward's..." my voice was starting to leave me.

"I've been on such a diet since I knew one existed. Since the first book came out," he said looking down at himself. "My eyes just started changing." There was a long pause in the dark. I thought about New Moon, how one cut sent Jasper (the vampire) pouncing at Bella. Was I really this close to a Jasper?

"So it is possible," I said trying to sound encouraging. He smiled weakly.

"Perhaps," he conceded. His grin was slowly spreading. "So far." That was one scary smile. It was time to play nice with the vampire. No more insulting or badgering. For now, anyway.

"Maybe you should start a Humanaholics Anonymous group," I ribbed lightly. That worked. He chuckled in the dark. I loved that light hearted sound with his pure, wonderful voice. It made me smile too.

"Hello, my name is Alec," he joked.

"Hi Alec."

"And it's been three years since my last human," he said. I took my hands out from under the covers to applaud lightly. We were both laughing now. This moment will stand out forever for me, because it was the first time we ever truly enjoyed one another's company. It was ruined though as we faced one another on the bed. His smile tightened as he looked at me. His eyes glistened in the moonlight, but I couldn't see its exact color in this lighting. It had me a little worried.

So I chose my words carefully.

"That's quite an accomplishment. Three years is a long time," I said. He rolled his eyes and snorted. "For _my_ kind anyway." We both watched one another for a quiet moment on the bed. It was the kind of mood that was thickening with some sort of tension. He slid himself a little farther away and sucked in a breath through his nose.

It made me wonder, what was that whole conversation about? Was he close to falling off the wagon and killing me? The thought disturbed me, but I was comforted by logic. I couldn't believe that he would do such a thing. Not necessarily because he cared enough about me to worry about my safety, but because I believed him when he said he loved to win.


	8. Insomnia

That night I slept about as much as Alec did. I honestly didn't feel the urge to actually fall asleep until I saw the sun coming through my curtains. It only lasted a second though, because the sun brought up a whole new flurry of ideas in my brain. and energized my mind again. I had so many questions to ask Alec.

"You should sleep in," Alec said sounding bored. I guess it must be boring to be sitting there all night pondering philosophical topics or whatever it is vampires think about when they just stare off.

"Can I see you in the sun?" I asked.

"No," he answered without even looking at me. I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in my life with a 'no' in my life.

"Why not?" I demanded.

"Because you need to sleep," he said glaring at me with his orangish-gold eyes. His glare hit home. I had to look away. So I looked up at the ceiling.

"I can't see you in the sun _ever_?" I clarified. He waited a moment before answering. "Alec." It must have been the first time I said his name out loud because it broke him out of his trance. "That's not fair. I want to see you in the sun. What's the point of knowing a vampire if I don't get the benefits?" I'm sure you readers can relate. Wouldn't _you_ want to see it? I mean, Alec is extremely good looking, annoying as he is. It was kind of hard to picture him looking more divine.

"We'll see," he said. Such a parental response. He makes me feel so childish sometimes. I guess compared to him I'm an infant, but that's no reason to treat me like this. But my mind was still bursting with questions, so I couldn't dwell on being annoyed.

"Have you ever had a singer?" I asked spontaneously. He groaned and threw his head against the headboard of the bed. He was unscathed. My headboard snapped in half and fell on top of both of us. He took the wooden board and tossed it aside, obviously frustrated.

"You had no problem sleeping the night before, or the night before that. What is the problem now?" he said growing more and more irritated. I was immediately on the defensive.

"The problem is my entire world is shattered. I can't just sleep," I whined.

"Yes, you can. You just have to...to..." He was so flustered it was like he couldn't even finish a sentence properly. Finally he came to a lame conclusion. "...try harder" I frowned.

"Try harder? How long has it been exactly since you slept?" I scoffed. He easily threw his legs over the side and stood up. The mattress didn't even shift under the graceful movement. I watched him as he swiftly made his way to the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

"To find you some drug that will knock you out," he growled. Then he stopped at the door and looked at the window. He couldn't even leave me for one second without worrying about someone taking advantage of the fact that I was unguarded. The sun peaked through the curtains. A sunny day meant that there would be no vampires up and about walking around, according to Twilight.

"Argh!" he grumbled. Jasper woke from his dead sleep as Alec started to pace. I watched him from the bed as his movements started to get faster and faster. It was like trying to watch the blades of ceiling fan as they gained speed.

I forced myself out of bed. Jasper's tail started to wag. He knew what I was getting up for.

"No, no. Just go to sleep already!" Alec demanded. "It is going to be that much more difficult to save you, if you are sick with exhaustion." I ignored him.

"You obviously won't leave me in a room alone and I have to feed Jasper. Just come with me," I said defeatedly. He stood between me and the door. I blinked slowly at him through sleepy eyes. "It will just take a second." It was the first argument I ever won with him. Alec stepped aside and followed me as I went down the hall. Jasper ran past us eagerly wagging his tail and pushing his nose into the cupboard where he knew the food was.

Alec walked reentered into the kitchen before I even knew he'd taken a detour. It seemed he'd gotten something from my bathroom. He dropped a bottle of NyQuil on the counter. I took one look at it and then back at him. He was unashamed as he watched me closely.

So I started my task while I Alec had not yet taken the opportunity to drug me.

"I have a question," I stated as I started to pour the kibble. Alec gave me an unamused look. "When are you going to hunt again? You can't exactly leave me alone." I set the bag down. Alec finally took his glare away from me to focus on the task of pouring the cold medicine into the small cup. He slid the green liquid over to me.

"Are you just going to drug me every time you want to avoid talking?" I asked. He nudged the cup once more.

"You can take the medicine the easy way or the hard way," Alec warned.

"Cold medicine does not make problems go away."

"Jay," he growled.

"Alec," I mocked. The vampire sighed and looked out toward the window.

I've considered leaving what happened next out of the story. It's kind of embarrassing, but if you're a fan like I was, you probably thought about this as well.

"Can you step out of the apartment for a while?" I asked. Alec didn't see that one coming. He snorted and shook his head. "Please?"

"I can't leave you alone," he said.

"I have to... go," I said sheepishly. He was about to question me. I stopped him before this could get even more embarrassing. "To the restroom."

"Then go," Alec said failing to resist a smile. Alec knew there was nothing really to worry about in the bathroom. There were no windows there for any predators to slip into. By a show of hands, how many of you readers would pee in the same vicinity as a vampire? I mean, its weird. They can hear and smell anything, how comfortable are you knowing that? I fidgeted a moment weighing my options.

"Can you just wait outside?" I asked him almost begging. Alec, the sensitive lug, started to laugh at me. It was time to negotiate. "If you do, I'll take the NyQuil." Alec wasn't convinced. Sorry everyone. In real life vampires don't give you a "human minute." At least my vampire doesn't.

So here was our compromise. Well, it wasn't really a compromise because I wasn't even close to getting my way. I should say that this was my solution to the problem. I liked to listen to music in the shower so I had a small stereo in the bathroom. I turned on the music while I did my business and turned on the fan.

We wasted a half hour of the morning debating on that, but he wasn't going to leave me alone in the apartment. I was probably lucky he was even leaving me alone in the bathroom at all. Even worse, the second I opened the door I was pounced on. Yeah, like my anxiety wasn't terrible enough as it was, my vampire decided to catch me off guard and literally force the NyQuil down my throat.

I spit about half of it out, gagging.

"I would have taken it willingly!" I said cough at the absolutely disgusting taste.

"I'm not going to chance it," was all Alec said to that. He spun me around with my hands on my shoulders and started to walk me back to the bedroom. I groaned. This guy made Edward look like a diplomat when it came to pushiness.

He had me go to bed. But the NyQuil, which I was usually very intolerant to, didn't work. In fact it made me hyper. It was pretty amusing given my spite. How could I resist making a comment?

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it..."

"Quiet," Alec interrupted moodily. I smiled.


	9. Will

As though I hadn't had enough time just staring and waiting to fall asleep last night. I laid in bed fidgeting and tossing in pure daylight. Don't get me wrong, I tried to sleep. But it wasn't long before I got bored and my questions started to come up again. I remembered event with the streetlight. Was it a coincidence that such an odd thing happened the day before I met Alec?

"Hey Alec, was that you the night before I met you?" I asked him. Without even looking at him I could tell he was rolling his eyes. Then he hesitated.

"Was what me?"

"The streetlight fell over when I was outside to get my cell phone. Were you and Nicholas fighting or something?" I asked him. He didn't respond.

"When was this?" Now I was intrigued.

"I don't know. In the middle of the night?" He thought on this and put his hand on his chin again as he thought. He was completely baffled by something which had my attention. I was never going to be relaxed enough to sleep.

"Wasn't that you?" I asked. "Or did the streetlight just fall by itself?"

"It didn't. I'd assumed Nicholas did that," he said. My eyebrows went up at this idea. I looked at him. "That was where the mediator died. It happened while I was hunting. You were outside when it happened?"

"I thought Nicholas killed the mediator," I said. "But if I was outside at the time, why wouldn't he have jumped at the chance to kill me? I was completely vulnerable." Alec thought on that. He groaned as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and slid beside me over the covers on my bed. He took out his cell phone and fidgeted with it. He stared at it intently.

"This is bad," he said.

"Why?"

"Because it means he might not have been the one to kill her. Which means, I may have made a huge mistake," Alec said, his eyes showed that he was deliberating. In an instant he sat up moving so fast that I wasn't exactly sure of what he was doing until I saw the phone was pressed to his ear.

I took this time from my distracted guard to get up. Unfortunately, if nothing else, the NyQuil had gotten me pretty loopy. I wandered into the living room not really caring what Alec was talking about. It didn't matter anyway, because he was speaking to fast for me to understand. So I flipped on the television. Jasper jumped up beside me, since Alec wasn't in his spot and vegged out for a little bit.

Then, I heard something. A familiar rustling for keys downstairs. I knew those keys anywhere. Will was home! He had more keys than a janitor. Before I could dart downstairs to greet my friend, I paused.

Oh no...

Will was home.

Then there was the loud stomping up the steps. He was coming to my apartment. I screamed telepathically for him to turn back. To pretend he didn't know me. Nicholas could be watching. He couldn't know he was associated with me at all. But Will's not that kind of guy to just come home and call you. He's kind of like a not-so nerdy Steve Erkel whereas he _lived_ for grand entrances.

Alec was in the room in an instant speeding up his words even faster to deliver the message. He slapped his cell phone shut just as Will turned the key in my door and stepped inside.

"Hidey ho, neighbor," he said opening the door. Will barges in unannounced all the time. I gave him a key a while ago when I went to go out of state for a work seminar and I needed him to watch Jasper. Then he refused to give me back the key so he frequently uses it to burst in and force out of whatever activity I happen to be doing to entertain him. Once he even pulled me out of the shower butt-naked because I had to help him pick out a tie for his date ASAP. (He got a good slap for that one.)

But he was my best friend and I loved him.

"Lady Jay, have I got some stories to tell you." Then he looked up from what he was doing having gotten the key out of the door. Will and Alec immediately locked gazes. Alec was not so thrilled, arms crossed over his chest.

Will looked at Alec like God had just given him a present.

"_Who_ is this?" Will said looking him up and down suggestively. Alec's brow furrowed and edged away from him. His looked was priceless. I would kill to have had a camera with me.

"That's Alec," I said standing up and wobbling a bit. Will laughed.

"Hitting the drinks a little early, aren't you Jay? Or are you still a little drunk from last night? You look like hell." Will smelled the air as if he were testing it. He had an uncanny ability of knowing exactly when something wasn't right. "Well, you didn't sleep together. So what's up?"

"I'm not drunk. It's NyQuil," I explained.

"You're not sick," he said. Will never misses a thing.

"Leave," Alec demanded. Will looked confused for a moment and then gave a light laugh. Instead of listening to him he turned to me.

"Don't you want to know why I'm home early?" I opened my mouth to tell him that it would probably best if he _did_ leave, but Will was never one to wait for a response before he just dove in.

"Well, my boss hit on me. That's right. She_ hit_ on me on the business trip which turned out not to be so professional. She was pushy and trying to shove me into a hotel room. I tell her I'm gay and she sends me home. Now I have to go to work on Monday and its going to be awkward. I mean, what if she tries to fire me or something?"

Then he looked at Alec.

"You're hungry," Will said to Alec completely surprising the vampire. Like I said, Will never misses a thing. Even I hadn't noticed Alec's eyes were steadily getting darker. "Jay, let's order a pizza and I'll tell you the details. Obviously you have to clue me in on the hottie. Oh and this is for Jazzy." He pulled out a tennis ball. Jasper was on his feet in an instant wagging his tail in front of him. Will teased him for a moment and then threw the ball down the hall. Will practically collected tennis balls for Jasper.

"Will," I interrupted him as Jasper was coming back down the hall with the ball in his mouth. "Now's really not a good time."

Will patted Jasper.

"Why not?" he asked as Jasper ran in circles around him. Jasper absolutely loved Will. I once joked that Jasper loved Will so much that he must have imprinted on him. But Will didn't get it so I just came off looking like a dork.

"Because..." I nodded at Alec. "I'm trying to work something out with Alec. It's just really not a good time. I'm sure you have a lot of unpacking to do." Will looked at Alec with new suspicions. The vampire kept quiet, jaw clenched in agitation of the new variable in his little Game.

Will stood up from where he was knelt next to Jasper. I think I offended him. He tried to look understanding though. He just nodded and pointed at me.

"You _will_ tell me what's going on, Jay," he said.

"Yeah," I agreed not sure if I was lying or not. He left it at that. I heard the slow footfalls going down the stairs back to his apartment. I groaned and hit the couch covering my eyes. Now my friend was in danger and he didn't even have his own personal vampire to protect him! "This is so bad!"

I peeked through my fingers and then sat up. Alec was looking at the wall thinking. Then he paced. He knew too. Will being home this early was in nobody's plans. Though now he might be in the predator's. I had to ask the vampire before I started going into hysterics again.

"Is Will in trouble?" I asked Alec.

"No," Alec said softly turning away from me to make another round. I exhaled with relief not even questioning whether he was telling the truth. "We need to go. Now."

"Where?"

"We have to speak with Nicholas," he said. My eyes went wide at that thought. He scoffed at me. "Well, I hope you're happy. You said you wanted to meet him." Now I instantly regretted the very suggestion. I thought about it for a moment.

"You were on the phone with him?" I asked Alec. He nodded. "Why?"

"The Game has been compromised. I had assumed Nicholas killed the mediator, which is cheating. That was why I broke the rules. But Nicholas didn't kill her," he said.

"Who did?" I asked.

"Damned if I know!" His voice was so loud I felt like it had cracked my skull. Luckily, I was drugged so I didn't quite feel the headache it gave me. Jasper whined next to me. He shot his glare at me. "Get dressed. We need to go."

"I'm going to meet with the guy who wants to kill me?" I questioned.

Alec mumbled something incoherent and walked toward me obviously meaning that I was going to get dressed one way or another. His intentions now clear I stood up on my own and headed towards the bedroom. Alec stalked me down the hallway impatiently behind me. I tried to go faster, but he wasn't patient enough to go tailgating me, so he carried me bridal style.

I frantically grabbed at his neck to steady myself, much more terrified than I thought I'd be in my first time in this position. Alec set me down and then started throwing clothes at me from the dirty clothes pile. I tried to hurry pulling my shirt over my head, knowing he was too distracted to sneak a peek.


	10. Nicholas

So here's the thing about vampires. They live life very quickly. They can run faster than a car, they never stop to sleep. They're used to getting everything done instantly. So this next part has happened to me, numerous times, since I've met Alec.

I yanked a shirt over me, the second I straightened it, my worn jeans hit me in the face. Without time to give him a glare I hopped into them one leg at a time. I wasn't even buttoned when he grabbed me again and started to carry me out the door.

I really must have read the books obsessively, because I instinctively knew to close my eyes. I felt the momentary rush of wind. Then suddenly we were in front of my car, Alec already had my keys in hand. He tossed me lightly inside, expertly aiming me right in the middle of the seat so I didn't wobble.

He didn't buckle his seat belt, but he ordered that I did while he pulled the car into reverse. The momentum threw me forward. I hadn't had enough time to actually put on the seatbelt so my forehead hit the dashboard.

"Ow!" I yelped. The car came to a screeching stop.

"Are you bleeding?" Alec demanded to know. I felt my forehead.

"No..."

"Good." Then the car lurched backwards, spun out of the parking space and sped forward. Finally stable, I was able to fumble with the seat belt so I was strapped in. I leaned back and stared at the gross ceiling of my ancient car. I was starting to feel sick.

"So fragile," Alec grumbled. I couldn't see where he was going or what traffic laws he was breaking, but my body was being tossed from side to side. "That is another reason why the book could not be true. Whoever has the patience to do everything at human speed is fiction. Now please pay attention, you're being very difficult." That's when I realized my movements were getting very sluggish. My head rolled over slowly to face the vampire. He looked confused for a moment. Then he clapped his hand over his face.

"The NyQuil..." he remembered out loud.

"I'm very prone to medication," I slurred.

"Yet you couldn't sleep..." he muttered.

"At least I'm not worried about meeting the..." It took me a while to find the word, "...vampire." Alec cursed. I was quiet for a little but. Then I couldn't help but say it. "That's what you get for drugging me."

Alec shook his head slowly as he stared out the windshield.

"Mistake after mistake..." I heard him mutter.

Sound familiar my fellow fans?

Then we pulled into a dark alleyway in between two buildings. I decided that now was the time to pay attention to my surroundings. As fuzzy as my mind was, my attention was easily grasped when I realized how dark it was and the clouds were rolling in front of the sun.

Alec killed the engine.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'll be okay," I said soberly. He made eye contact with me, moving side to side as though to test my reflexes. I watched his eyes and their fiery colors with fascination. He determined I was fine. He looked around and leaned toward me. I mimicked him.

"Listen to me. This might not go well," Alec said whispering. I nodded slowly. I was sure that I knew what that meant. Nicholas could pounce at me any moment I'm in his presence. That realization wasn't new to me though. I was surprisingly calm. Or maybe it was just the cold medicine. "If I tap you twice. That means that I'm going to attack. If I do that I want you to stay completely still with your arms at your side. You also might want to close your eyes, but no matter what happens, make no attempt to escape because you can't."

I nodded again. Then he told me something. Something I did not recognize until I reread New Moon.

"And if he tries to kill you, remember don't move. Try to convince him that you're not worth the kill. Beg, if you have to." Then my nods came more frantically. My heart rate picked up. He meant this in case Nicholas caught me alone. I knew that would only happen if Alec was dead.

My expression and rushing adrenaline made him see how frightened I was suddenly. He forced a laugh and smiled confidently. "Just in case. Don't worry. Remember, I love to win." You couldn't not believe anyone with a face like that. Or maybe he'd used his special suggesting on me. Or maybe I was just drunk on cough medicine. I don't know.

He turned to open the door as I unbuckled myself. But, ever with the dramatics, there was a slam on the hood of the car. In a movement so quick that I literally got whiplash and hit the back of my head on Alec's stone chest, we were out of the car near the opening of the alley. Alec was freezing cold, his touch was just as shocking.

Then it was like someone had pressed pause on the situation. I had time to assess everything. Nicholas had dropped down from some perch from above onto the car. He now stood, arms crossed, his stare firmly on Alec. He wasn't as handsome as Alec, then again I might be biased. After all he is the bad guy. The James to my Bella.

As described in the books, he was the perfect male specimen. He held something different than Alec though. He was more in control. His motions were fluid rather than precise and sudden. Also unlike Alec his eyes were a perfect ruby red. They glistened as he spoke.

"You're late," Nicholas said in a silky tone. Alec's hold on me never loosened. I didn't want it to. His arms were crossed over me so my back was to his front. I held onto his arms for dear life like I was expecting him let me go.

"You're late as well," Alec accused with a flick of his head. "I have a human to lug around. What's your excuse?"

"I have a busy schedule," Nicholas responded jumping down from my car which now had one large dent its front and a damaged engine inside. "How are you doing Jaylin?" I didn't respond. I couldn't. I was speechless and in shock all over again.

"What happened to Alba?" Alec asked. Alba was the mediator, I figured. Nicholas stayed a respectable distance from us. I guess this meeting was supposed to be some sort of truce, then again if no one was playing by the rules anymore I wouldn't trust either vampire to play nice with the other.

Nicholas walked back and forth like a caged animal. Alec and I didn't move a muscle.

"You tell me, my friend," Nicholas said picking up his eyes. "One minute I'm watching a man drop his date off at her home, and the next I hear a crash down the street. Alba was gone when I went to investigate. I called her phone which led to a flaming trash can in the plaza. I thought you'd completely lost your mind. Then you actually _went_ to the human. You told her everything!"

He gave me a look, then an uncertain look at Alec.

"I thought you'd become partial to the victim," the vampire accused.

"I didn't kill Alba. The only reason I told Jaylin everything was because I thought you had," Alec defended.

"So you cheated because I cheated?" said the predator. He scoffed. "Very mature."

"I wasn't about to let you get the upper hand. Why should I play the rules if you're not going to?" I looked from one to the other still holding onto Alec's arm with all my strength while the vampires had their pissing match.

"So someone else killed the mediator?" Nicholas said unbelieving.

"I know it doesn't sound likely," Alec explained.

"It certainly wasn't me," said the vampire. That was for sure. If it had been him and he caught me alone I would be dead before I could ever figure out that vampires were real. Then a new possibility popped into my head. What if it was Alec? But why would he kill the mediator?

"Maybe we should put the Game off until we find out what is going on," Alec said. Nicholas's laughter boomed.

"Forfeiting, are we? Then hand over the girl. We're in a nice secluded area. I don't think anyone will mind her screams," Nicholas said extending a hand. I shivered in Alec's arms. His grip tightened, almost bruising me.

"It is not a forfeit. Someone is dead," Alec tried to reason. It was then I realized that he was taking my suggestion and trying to negotiate. He was trying to spare me and my life. My god, he was doing something nice? I nearly went into shock all over again as my whole world didn't make any sense anymore. I couldn't help it. I craned my head to look up at him.

"There's no need to stop playing. In fact I think getting rid of the mediator only makes it more interesting," Nicholas said with a shrug. His walk turned into an elegant saunter. He raised a finger to prove a point. "You're willing to break the rules. You have done the insane and told a human about our existence. This is nearly as spectacular as that book. You will make an excellent opponent." Alec stiffened, somehow tensing even more so. Nicholas was getting at something.

Alec backed away.

"Give her to me or I'll report you. Do you know how many trackers would be tempted by the opportunity of playing this particular Game? The Game with no mediator, the Game where the vampire himself deserves death as much as the human for playing unfairly?" he asked.

"I did not kill Alba!" Alec said. His loudness made my ears ring.

"_Somebody_ did!" Nicholas roared right back at him. His posture changed from rage back to content in a matter of seconds. He continued his rant: "And then you go and break the rules! You form a relationship with the girl. You have the incentive, you and your new fondness for humans and your fictional diet. I wouldn't exactly put it past you to be guilty of such a crime just to save a girl."

It took a moment to absorb all this. Of course I'm not jotting this down word for word. What I got from the conversation was that since Nicholas couldn't have killed this person, it had to be Alec. Even I couldn't see how it could have been someone else. Only a vampire or a werewolf could kill another vampire. And at this point I wasn't even sure if werewolves existed.

But why?

I wasn't really worried about that at the moment. I was thinking about this barter Nicholas was offering.

Either he had me or he was going to tell every tracker he knew that I was the ultimate prey. That was stupid though. Alec wasn't going to lose. He was just as competitive as Nicholas.

"The girl stays with me," Alec said loosening his hold. My feet touched the ground forcing me to acknowledge that my limbs had fallen asleep from his holding me so tight. I hadn't even realized he was cutting off my blood flow. With new confidence I somehow found the strength to stand. Alec gave a smirk, not just any smirk, but the one Bella describes on Edward.

"If you think that making the Game more difficult will discourage me, then you don't know me very well." **That** is a direct quote and quite possibly the coolest line I have ever heard anyone say in real life. Much kudos to my vampire for that one.

Nicholas was pleased with this. He chuckled darkly and turned to leave. He looked over his shoulder at me and gave a final wave. "I'll see you later, Jaylin."

Caught up in the moment I wanted to add something brave and witty to that, but all that came out was an awkward, "Uh huh..." When he was out of sight Alec let go of me completely. I exhaled deeply and turned around to face him. Alec looked at the ground and then back up at me.

"You're not going to faint or anything are you?" he asked.

"No," I said honestly. He gave a subtle smile.

"Good," he said. "There may be some hope for you yet." A rush of pleasure shivered through me as he said this. For a moment, I felt adequate next to the vampire. He looked back at the car. The crushed dent had totaled it completely.

"There goes our ride," I muttered. Then I smiled at my opportunity. "Are you going to run me home?" Alec gave me a funny look. He just shook his head and started walking normal paced down the sidewalk.

"There's a reason I wanted to meet him here. Your scrap-on-wheels is too slow. It was going to get discarded one way or another," he said. We stepped out of the dark alley to the street. He didn't even have to say anything. While I'm still not giving details, I knew which car on the street was his before he could even said anything.

I believe the word for this vehicle is "ostentatious."

I got in the car and took in that new car scent. Alec was at much more at ease as he pressed the power button and started the engine.

"Can I ever drive this?" I asked. I wasn't dignified with a response.


	11. My Guilt

The responses I'm getting is... Well, its overwhelming. To be honest I wasn't really expecting to get reviews. I just thought everyone would think I was nuts. Thanks, I guess and sorry in advance. You probably won't like this chapter.

* * *

**This chapter dedicated to Will.**

Okay, so back to the ostentatiousmobile...

This is the part where it started to suck. Not just suck. Suck sounds too "You have homework tonight? Oh, that sucks." This was _beyond_ sucking. It's sucking to its extreme.

It was devastating.

Just like a few days before this event I wished I was living in a world the Twilight world. You know the one in Forks, not in my apartment. The one where there was a family of good vampires, instead of just one questionable one, or one where there's a pack of werewolves to care about what happens to me.

Bella has it easy.

The car pulled up to the curb. The ride was long and kind of frivolous as somehow Alec and I had gotten into a pattern of arguing with one another when things started to get tense. I was relieved leaving Nicholas back at that alley. It made me confident in Alec and seeing them beside one another was even better. Alec was bigger, he had more wisdom, and I thought about what might have killed the mediator.

My only conclusion was Alec _must_ have killed her. Then he goes and breaks the big Rule #2 by telling me? It made me think that he truly was looking out for my safety. That he wasn't worried about winning or the sanctity of the Game. It made me feel like he really wanted me to be alive for whatever reason. I chose to believe this above every other possibility because I never did find out for sure what happened and this theory made me feel safe with the vampire.

So, I'll stop stalling you with my theories because I'm distracting myself from the devastating part. When Alec opened the door of his car he paused. I also paused.

"What is it?" I asked. He debated on his answer. Then his eyes went black, the orangish irises diminished into his widening pupils. Then he took in some deep breaths from outside. The color of his eyes told me not to press my luck with demanding an answer even though I was itching to know. It felt like an eternity as his mind reeled.

Then he stuck his head out the window and looked at the time.

"Where is the most sunlight in this area?" he asked. He stuck his key in the car and revved the engine. I thought for a moment and then gave him the location. Lucky for me I still had my seatbelt on. Alec sped down to this location in fifteen minutes were it would have taken me forty-five minutes and I'm not exactly the slowest driver in town.

In those fifteen minutes there was no way I was going to try and strike up a conversation. The tension in the car was grim. I knew something had gone terribly wrong without him even telling me. The wheels in my brain were turning trying to think, what could have given Alec this sudden mood swing?

He dropped me off at this place the sun was high. Through his dark windows I saw lots of people. For some odd reason this is where luck decided to be on my side. I could have used it way earlier. There was a festival here so there was lots of people.

Alec saw a family of four standing next to the toll booth. They were a nice looking family I guess. He pointed at them.

"Go up to that family, Jaylin. Tell them you were just in a car accident down the road and you're waiting for the highway patrol to come meet you. Tell them you don't want to be alone. Don't let them leave you even for a second. Cry or beg if you must," he said. I tried to be agreeable, but I had to open my big mouth.

"I can't cry on cue," I said.

"Nicholas killed your neighbor," he said. My eyes widened at this. I couldn't move under his black gaze. I was terrified. I was confused. Alec was even less patient than he usually was. "We don't have time for this. Now get out before I lose control and KILL YOU!" I fumbled for the door handle and scrambled out of the car. Alec drove away the second I had one foot on the ground. He sped off even faster than he'd driven to get here.

When I looked up I didn't even have to ask the family if they'd keep me company, I didn't have to fake crying either. They'd heard the last end of our conversation. Alec isn't exactly known for using his inside voice. They next hour was a blur. I kind of just blanked out.

The family thought I was crying because I was a victim of domestic violence. I couldn't even speak to correct them with the phony car accident story. The wife was a nurse or something to do with hospital. I had the bruises to support the battered woman theory, though they'd come from Alec snatching me out of the car when we'd gone to meet Nicholas.

The mother, wife, girlfriend, whoever she was stayed there and kept me company while the father took the kids on some rides. I just sat there and cried as she went on about how many girls like me she's seen. Little did she know she's probably never seen girls like me. Not unless she worked in a morgue where the poorly disposed victims of vampires went.

Her babbling faded into the background. She was quite a talker, come to think of it.

My mind finally started to work again. What had Alec meant when he meant my neighbor was dead? Well, come to think about it, there's really nothing to wonder about. My neighbor was dead. Will was dead. Little sparks of hope sometimes rose to the surface and made me think, maybe it was one of my other neighbors, maybe he's wrong, maybe someone else was dead. How could he know? He didn't actually see a body.

Then I remembered the color of his eyes. His draining restrain. He hadn't needed to see the body. He had smelled the blood. Then I was surprised as the Twilight fan in me somehow made me wonder.

How had he managed _not _to kill me in the car after he smelled fresh blood?

As I was lost in my thoughts and it was nearing sunset, the ostentatious car rolled up in front of us. Before the woman could try and continue her lecture about why I should leave my abusive boyfriend I ran into the car without even saying goodbye to the woman who'd been so nice as to babysit me on a sunny day while there was a crazed vampire after me.

I got in the car tear stained and messy. I buckled my seat belt and waited for the car to race forward. It didn't. Alec drove at a normal human speed. He mosied down the freeway and took me directly to the airport. We didn't speak the whole way there, but Alec and I have spoken about this event since then, so I'll tell you what happened.

Nicholas had meant to leave a warning behind just for me. So he went to my apartment and killed Jasper. Alec doesn't go into details about what he saw, but I imagine it must have been messy. The next part is what Alec thinks what happened because he wasn't there to witness it, but its the most logical explanation.

Will must have heard the commotion upstairs. I don't imagine Jasper went down without making some sort of noise, and Will has always been protective of Jasper. He went to investigate, as always, barging in without thought. Still in a blood frenzy, Nicholas must have killed him too.

Alec went back and took care of the bodies. What that means I don't know, and I don't really want to know. He just said that things were "cleaned up." Then he grabbed a few things of mine, threw them in a backpack, and left.

That's what happened. That's why I can't sleep at night. That's why I have anxiety. That's why I'm constantly getting sick and migraines. That's how I became on the vampire's most wanted list. So here's my journal.

My validation.

* * *

**AN Note:**

**Sorry for those of you that actually took the time to read this. I know the end is kind of a downer, but this is the truth after all and there aren't a whole lot of happy endings in my experience. Or at least that is what my delusions have led me to believe is the truth. I've gotten better since this happened. It's not the first time I've had to deal with death, just the first time I've had to deal with one that was partially my fault. **

**I might keep writing, but now that this part is done I don't know what else I need to say. I mean, more stuff has happened since then. Maybe I can just tell you what its like to have a vampire constantly dragging you around, or tell you how I'm trying my own hand at tracking down the Cullens. (I'm determined to know whether they exist or not.) I don't know. **

**I guess I'll give it a few days and see if anything bad comes from me posting this "fan fiction." Sooner or later Alec's going to catch on to what I've been writing, adding, and emailing to myself on the computer. I'm dreading that day because I kind of enjoyed writing this and I know he'll make me stop.**


	12. AuthorNarrator's Note 2

**Author/Narrator's Note:**

**Um... Hi everyone who is reading, humans, vampires, and possible werewolves. First of all, I got a few requests to let some readers know when I have found the Cullens. I haven't. Sorry guys. Give me a break, I'm only human. **

**Secondly, I have been grounded for the past couple days. Long story, short. Alec found out about this story. Yeah, so I had a pretty pissed off vampire on my hands. Pissed off is an understatement actually. We left lots of broken furniture in the wake of that argument. I couldn't even think about getting near a computer. **

**So after numerous arguments we made an arrangement. I am allowed to keep writing for this fan fiction. However, I can only speak of us fictionally from now on. Basically meaning, that I can't write about any more true facts about our adventures. If you have any complaints I'll let him know. From now on the story is almost a hundred percent untrue. Almost. (A more accurate statistic will be about sixty percent untrue.)**

**Then he tried to tell me to change what I've already written. I would not budge on that issue, telling him that it was too late. Some people already know the story and changing it won't do anything. So its agreed. What's done is done. **

**And now for my part of the bargain: Alec would like me to inform you fellow Twilight fans that the Cullens are undoubtedly fictional.**


	13. Hospital Humor

This part at least is true. If Alec doesn't like it, then whatever. This story is first and foremost for therapeutic purposes.

* * *

Two weeks after we arrived who-knows-where and I still hadn't spoken. I just couldn't think of what to say to the vampire who disposed my best friend and dog's bodies. On the plane I'd fallen asleep, to my and Alec's surprise. Then he'd woken me up, took me to a hotel and let me sleep for an entire day. After that I fell into the old routine of not sleeping. I tried to sleep all the time. I was no longer interested in staying awake and interrogating Alec with every question that popped up in my brain. 

Sleep was welcome, but unattainable.

At first Alec tolerated my moping. Then he went around his usual business.

By the fourth day he started conversations that I never participated in. Just a lot of, "its too quiet" and "you know another reason why the Cullens could never exist?" Then he started to try and get me up and out in the open. We moved around a lot at night (since I wasn't sleeping anyway). He bought me the Twilight books, since I had to leave my copies behind. He said I needed it seeing as how it was my survival guide now.

Then he started to read them. I found it easier to stare at the TV and pretend to watch it.

"Jaylin," Alec would say periodically. I would look up. He'd force a smile. "Just making sure you're still alive."

As though he couldn't hear every breath I took.

Then one day he turned off the television and stood in front of it. I stared back at him. His bright orange eyes were light, but he still had a scowl on his face. It was how he looked most of the time. I'd gotten used to the idea that he was just perpetually pissed off.

"This is getting old, Jay," he declared. That's Alec. He always knows _just_ what to say, that sensitive lug.

Blinking at him was my only response.

"You sleep about as much as I do, yet you're not really awake. It's like you're not even there. What can I do to pull you out of this?" He sat at the edge of the bed. I concentrated on something else in the room.

He pulled New Moon out of the Twilight pile and tossed it to me. I got the message. My actions sounded familiar. He hadn't pulled it out for my benefit though. He was trying to figure out what he should do.

"When Bella was depressed, what did she do?" he asked himself. I watched him curiously. It was weird that my survival guide for living with a vampire was also his survival guide for living with a human. He looked at me. "There are no werewolves to cheer you up."

He was provoking me. Trying to get me to defend the possible existence of werewolves and the Cullens.

I didn't respond. He sat beside me on the bed. We both faced the blank television.

"Perhaps..." he said. He thought for a moment rubbing his chin like he always does when he thinks. "Would you like to see me in the sun tomorrow?"

That was intriguing. If I had the will to move I would have been right on board. The truth is I've dealt with the separate deaths of both my parents. This death was different for a couple of reasons. It was a quick and brutal murder, I was somewhat involved in the killing, and now I was on the run for the rest of my life.

He thought again.

"Alright then," he finally said turning to face me. He was trying very hard to take care of me. It's not in Alec's nature to be there for someone when they need him. It wasn't until I got to know him better that I knew exactly how far away from his comfort zone he was in doing this. "What would the human like to do?"

I didn't answer. Like any pushy vampire would, his hand wrapped around mine and pulled me up before I had time to process the fact that he was touching me. He usually avoided physical contact at all costs. He wrapped his arm around my waist and held it against him as he carried me, somehow, with one arm about an inch above the floor.

He literally dragged me to a movie. I forget which one, but it was a girly movie. It did not magically give me the ability to speak though. Alec was just as bored with the film as I was. It was a hit with the couples in the audience though. The couple on the other side of me would not stop making out with one another. Even though it was a romantic comedy, the only time I felt like laughing at all was when Alec grumbled with unnecessary loudness, "No sense of decency."

We came out of the movie having achieved nothing. Alec couldn't even pretend that he'd enjoyed himself, which was fine because neither could I. What a waste of sixteen dollars. We went to the car and I let myself inside. When we didn't go spiraling out of the parking space and screaming down the street at an unnecessary speed like we usually did, I readied myself for a round of complaints.

"Jaylin," he said.

I didn't answer.

"Jaylin!" he growled. The suddenness of his voice and tone caught me off guard. I jerked backward and snapped my head around, consequently hitting my head on the side window. (If you couldn't tell already, I hit my head a lot.) "We need to have a talk about death."

He started the car ignoring my pained expression. Alec did everything like he was ripping off a band-aid. He drove aimlessly, away from our hotel. I watched the lights of the unfamiliar city go by and tried not to meet his gaze.

"You know about vampires," Alec started. If I'd been in a better mood I would have had a sarcastic comment already locked and loaded. "We live eternally. As eternal beings you see terrible things happen. Sometimes your...existence contributes to them." I stared at him incredulously.

Was he really admitting that I had something to do with Will's death? With Jasper's?

"But you carry on. Life is about carrying on," Alec said. There was a prolonged silence. It lasted a while as Alec made pointless circles around the buildings. "I'm sorry about what happened. It's not your fault. It's mine."

"No, its not," my words came out before I could stop them. I don't know why I feel the need to reassure Alec of such things. Maybe its just that he lived on humans for so long that I just can't think of what its like to carry so much guilt. I already had one death to worry about, God knows how many he has.

"Whatever the case may be, the point is that you learn to deal with death in my business. It's like..." he started and then his voice trailed off for a moment as he thought of a comparison. "Hospital humor." Hospital humor. I can't believe he said humor at all. I looked at him darkly.

"Have you ever known a hospital employee. When working for a hospital you see death quite often. In response you build defenses to emotionally handle what you see unless you are a sociopath. They have a tendency to have a dark sense of humor as a defense mechanism. They can joke about death and pain. They can accept the inevitability. The annoyance of prolonging life when someone is slipping away," he said.

He paused to let me deliberate.

"Do you understand?" he asked. I looked at him disgusted.

"You want me to _laugh_ about what happened?" I asked.

"No. I want you accept the inevitability and build your defenses before you can get hurt again," he said. Is it weird that this made sense to me? The Game is very dangerous. Alec could get killed. I was probably going to be killed eventually. I debated on this for a while in the dead of night. The time when Alec and I are the most active, most alive, so to speak.

I thought about Will, his fascination with Alec when he first met him. Jasper's utmost respect for him almost immediately. What would they want me to do? What should I do with the rest of my life with their deaths hanging over my head? What do vampires do with all the lives they've taken?

Then I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Alec. He'd been nice enough to spare my life and give me a chance at coming out of this Game alive. I realized he was right. I did have to carry on, even with my guilt.

He noticed my staring and glared at me.

"Thanks," I told him. I meant it too. He was giving me reason to survive at this point. He gave the briefest of smiles. He cocked his head thoughtfully.

"I had my doubts, you know. This Game. It was a bad idea telling you that you were a part of it. And after what happened... I was sure that nothing good come of this even if I did win. But I might be wrong. Maybe contact is... good," he said.

"Contact?"

"Human contact," he clarified. Then he amended, "Actually, any contact at all. But I haven't been this close to life, this easily, in a very long time." He then took his eyes off the road. My knee-jerk reaction was the same as Bella's but I knew better than to scream at him when he was finally softening up. He took my hand, and like he did once before, placed his thumb over the center of my wrist where my pulse was strongest.

Then he wouldn't let go. I couldn't tell if it was awkward because I was becoming tempting and he hadn't fed in a while or just because he hadn't had much social practice with humans for a while.

"Do vampires get bored?" I blurted. It was time to change the subject. He glanced up.

"Extremely," he said.

"What do you do when you're so bored you think you'll go insane?" I asked. He scoffed.

"You don't want to hear it," he said. Now I was totally intrigued. I glared at him. Usually he was immune to my glares, but he must have been feeling unusually sympathetic given my depression. "I..." he hesitated for a second, readjusting his hands on the wheel. "Well, you remember our talk about hospital humor."

"You mean the one five seconds ago? I'm human, Alec, not demented," I said. I could see the retort he had in his eyes. I'd set myself up for that one, but he spared me.

"I fake my death," he said. I blinked once. He looked for my reaction. We just ended up staring blankly at one another. Finally he gave in and started to go into detail. "I like to make a scene. Cause a little bit of trouble. Then do something where no one would expect to find a body. Usually its a car chase."

I think my mouth fell open. Alec meditated on that for a moment. He was such a stoic, grumpy, jerk I hadn't ever thought he'd be a dare devil. It was hard to comprehend that he even had any urges to have fun at all. But when he's not playing a Game, he lives a real life version of Grand Theft Auto. I stared at him incredulously.

"Are you joking?" I demanded.

"Never told anyone that before," he mused out loud to himself. Then he looked at me. "It's quite exhilarating. I don't know what my fascination with being on the wrong end of a chase is, but I like to foil my pursuers..." He was talking about his life now, not the car chases. His brow furrowed and he pursed his lips in concern as he considered, "Maybe I have some compulsion."

I must have been staring at him like he was insane, because he quickly rerouted the conversation.

"Well, it doesn't matter. We don't need to fake deaths anymore. It'd draw to much attention to ourselves," he said. So would a "fan fiction" that had remarkable accuracy of real events, but oh well. I stared out the window looking out. He sighed to himself.

"Are all of our things in the car?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered blandly. We were always ready for a quick getaway. Silence filled the car.

I thought about how back home my disappearance meant next to nothing. And Will's? Will had a family who never knew him the way I did. His brothers were always teased so much he could never tell them anything. Not even that he was gay. By now I'd certainly been fired for job abandonment.

Depending on how well Alec's clean up job was, it would be...

Well, it would almost be as though I never existed. Of course, that's what made me the perfect pawn. I was a disposable piece of the game. Yet, somehow I was starting to grow attached to the player. Sometimes I thought of us as chess pieces, but that doesn't make sense. Alec was never on the offensive, only trying to protect the king piece.

The offensive...

"I promise to stop moping permanently on one condition," I remarked out of the blue. We were hitting the freeways again and therefore, probably to head to our newest location. Alec was surprisingly adjusting to my demand.

"You name it."

Don't think me harsh. Unless you lost the only person in your life that meant something to you, that cared, or even gave you a second glance, you have no right to judge me for my feelings.

"I want you to kill Nicholas," I told him. And it was true. I wanted him dead. Beyond dead. I wanted him rotting in hell. I wanted to go to hell and oversee the torturing myself I was so furious with the killer. Now I was watching Alec for his reaction. I wanted to see if he was appalled with the fact that a human would want something like this.

He looked exactly like I feared. Judgmental.

Not that he had any right, but I felt compelled to explain myself.

Alec looked back out onto the road thoughtfully. So I put it the only way I knew both of us would really understand, having read the mandatory reading. "I know its not right. Eye for an eye. But I don't care. If someone killed Bella, you can bet that Edward would find some way to avenge her."

"You cared for your friend like Edward does for Bella?" Alec asked confused.

"Not exactly. Its just that he was my only family," I said. Alec was careful not to respond. "The moment the Game's over, the second I'm dead, just take care of him so he doesn't do that to anyone else... Okay?" It was strange to think that I was giving my death wish now when there was no danger present.

"I promise," Alec said. He reached for me, again, uninvited and touched my hand. There was something bonding about the way he touched my hand. He _always_ does it the same way. His thumb over my pulse, as though he's checking to make sure I'm still alive.


	14. Bree

So those of you wondering about my feminine issues, Alec and I came up with an obvious solution. Birth control. Then when there's no more avoiding "that time of the month", we had to resort to very careful distance. After seeing his restraint in the car that day when he'd smelled blood I didn't really worry at all, even though he did a lot. If he could stay locked up in a car with me for that long, then I didn't think I needed to worry about him. I still don't. Alec is as harmless as ever. Really he's a great protector. His bossiness is usually for the better.

There are still some nights that bother him when I can't sleep. Usually those nights end with him beside me, irritated and me, bored and tired. I won't discuss his eating habits because obviously, he can't eat with me around. Usually he's fine though. Being away makes him anxious, which would be sweet if it were actually myself he was worried about and not the stupid Game.

We caught lots of planes, trains, rented cars all over the place. We fell into pattern quite quickly. It wasn't until Alec and I were at one of our gates waiting for our plane to finish fueling that we ever came across any sort of complication.

Then_ she_ came.

Alec noticed her immediately and watched warily. He didn't grab me and run, or fall into a defensive crouch in front of me. I just felt him stiffen in the chair beside me. When I looked up there was a woman in the row of seats in front of us. She was a snow white and beautiful, a dead giveaway. But she had sunglasses on.

In the echoes of voices down the hall I could hear nothing between them. The tension was thick enough that I was beginning to wonder if she would pick a fight with Alec. Could he take her? Did she have any abilities?

The woman raised her arms as if in defense.

"I mean you no harm. I'm just curious," she said in a soft voice. I could barely hear her. Alec didn't respond. The woman leaned forward out of her perfect posture. Her head cocked to the side. Then she reached up and took off her glasses.

Red eyes.

I gave a mental gasp, though I could never trust myself to give a physical reaction. Then I looked at our surroundings. We were in a heavily populated place. It was a travel day where business men were coming home and people were leaving for weekend visits.

"Are you...?" the woman started to ask. Her lips pressed closed as she deliberated. She was quiet for a moment. It was as though she had to debate on censoring herself. "Are you Edward and Bella?" My eyes went wide. Alec's stone cold expression wavered. We looked at one another with equal shock.

"I beg your pardon?" Alec asked.

"I mean, not that those are your real names. I assume you disguised your true identities for the sake of audiences," she said. Her eyes narrowed at us both. She bit her lip thoughtfully. "I had assumed the stories weren't true. A human and a... one of us. When I saw you with your golden eyes and accompanied by the human I could think of no other conclusion." Alec almost smiled.

"No," he said. She slowly nodded.

"I did not mean to intrude on anything. This place is my home and... well, you know how dull it can get," she said laughing to herself. Alec politely added to the gentle laugh. I looked at one to the other back and forth. "Your eyes are orange now that I look at them."

Alec smiled. He looked up at the flight time. It was almost time to go.

"It's been a pleasure Miss...?"

"Bree," she said. I named her Bree after the newborn that died in Eclipse. I've always felt bad for that girl. He didn't shake hands with her, but he gave her a gentlemanly bow of his head.

He's never that polite with me.

We both rose to leave.

"May I pry...?" Bree asked looking to me. "What are you doing with her?" Alec hesitated. The vampire obviously meant no harm. There were plenty of people to witness any attack. She would cause chaos especially if she chose to strike in an airport. I can just picture that "terrorist attack."

He started to turn away, even if it was rude to just leave her there. He rested his hand on my shoulder and steered me with him. This Bree woman watched us leave curiously. I looked behind me as we faded away. I wanted to do something so bad. She seemed nice enough. Maybe I should preach to her about taking up the Cullen diet. I could save more lives that way, maybe make up for the ones I've taken.

Then she started to follow us. She presented a ticket behind us. Alec turned to watch her. Then he was suddenly much more protective. His arm wrapped around me and pulled me toward his cold body. I stiffly looked to him, still too nervous about the vampire hearing to say. I wanted to ask him what we should do about this woman though.

We sat down at our seats. I always got the window seat to block the possible sunlight and to keep me out of everyone's reach. The woman walked past us, both of us glaring at her as she made sure to keep her gaze forward. She was a safe distance away about five seats back on the opposite aisle.

As soon as she was out of sight I tapped Alec. He was busy watching Bree, I had to tap him again.

"What?" he hissed irritated. What? What did he _think_ I was going to ask him?

"Who is that?" I whispered.

"A vampire," he explained quietly. Apparently he hadn't thought that I'd figure this out on my own.

"Thanks for enlightening me, genius," I snapped. His eyes narrowed and I heard the beginnings of a growl. Irritated and a little intimidated I went back to my magazine. The flight wasn't a very long one, but because of her being there, I wasn't allowed to use the restroom. That was annoying.

And, being annoyed, I intended to annoy.

"Talk to her," I suggested. Alec didn't move from his position. He barely acknowledged the fact that I talked to him at all. "Al-..."

"Do not say names," he warned in a hiss. That's where my using of fake names came into play.

"Then answer me," I said. He took his glare away from me for a moment. Just enough to give me a warning glance. Then he put his finger to his lips.

"Try sleeping," he said. That was usual tactic of getting me to shut up when I was pestering him. I groaned and slumped in my seat. Figures, the first thing to actually happen in a couple of weeks and its made me take a vow of silence along with all the other rules Alec had put in place.

I watched the clouds zip by in the dark sky. I wasn't going to sleep though. Not because I didn't want to, but because there was someone unfamiliar on our tail. So I spent the whole time drumming on the armrest. It must have been driving Alec crazy, because he finally set his hand down over mine to stop it.

We arrived and it was sunny outside. That was the trouble with planes. The weather is unpredictable when you arrived. You have to rely on the weather man, its not like Alec has his own personal forecaster like the Cullens. So we were trapped in the airport today.

Great.

There is nothing worse than getting trapped in an airport until nightfall. I've read every Nora Roberts, James Patterson, and Katie MacAlister novel in every gift shop on the planet. The accordion looking terminal covered us from the plane to the building.

Bree followed.

We had no luggage. Just my backpack and whatever Alec had in his wallet. Bree didn't seem to have anything either. She kept a reasonable distance though. Still, I was not allowed to go to the bathroom. We discussed strategies for me to allow this.

"Al-"

"I said no names," he snapped.

"It's getting close to being an emergency," I warned. My shyness about using the restroom was slowly fading with time. I've gotten the 'Jay, I've heard lots of people pee. I don't care' speech plenty of times. Sometimes there was no other option than to just ignore the fact that there was a super-hearing, super-smelling person in the next room.

"No," he said.

"What if I used the men's room? You can come with me," I asked, though the thought was disgusting the alternative was even worse. His knee bounced up and down irately. I gave him a moment to think it over. Finally he agreed and there were some very confused men I had to walk by. I tried not to make a scene, but it was a very crowded bathroom.

Then of course when we stepped outside Alec had to snatch me and pull me back. Bree was waiting just outside with her large tortoise-shell sunglasses. He pushed us back in the bathroom back with the bewildered men. He stopped, staring at the entrance.

"What are you doing?"

"Stupid," he told himself. "I won't be doing that again."

"Doing what?"

"Holding my breath. I should have smelled her coming," he answered.

"What is she going to do to us here? We're in public," I asked. His glance flashed on me, then back at the door. "Let's just confront her. Ask her why she's following us and see for yourself if she's a threat or not. If she is we can tell her to get lost, or rip her to pieces, or whatever it is you want to do with her." It was an on the spot decision.

Alec sighed and decided it would probably be the most interesting course of action. We both left the bathroom to confront Bree. She was waiting for us in the same place. She smiled politely. She stepped toward us both.

"I would like to commit to your diet," Bree said before anyone could do anything. I was stunned, but Alec never showed any emotion when the Game was afoot. There was a pause. "I am tired of looking for bad people, raiding prison yards, and waiting in dark alleys."

Alec was silent, but he was considering by the way he was looking at her. This gave Bree enough time to start to second guess her decision.

"Please, Mr. Cullen..."

"I am not a Cullen," Alec corrected quietly. "I have nothing to do with the Twilight stories at all aside from the fact that I am a vampire." His rude tone aggravated me.

"That's not nice," I interrupted.

"Quiet," he snapped.

"No," I snapped right back. I ignored his deadly glare and looked at Bree. "We're not part of the Cullen coven at all. My friend here borrowed their diet when he learned about it. I encourage you to do it as well. I think you would be much happier if you did." Bree gave the faintest of smiles. I looked at Alec.

"There. That's all I wanted to say," I said.

"If you aren't the Cullens then what are you?" Bree asked curiously. I waited for Alec on this one. He put his hand on my back and started to lead me away. I gave Bree an apologetic smile. As we moved away, her brow twitched just over the rim of her glasses in annoyance and snarl was beginning to form in her throat.

I understand completely. Alec made me feel like that a lot.

Then faster than I could comprehend she was in front of us again. Alec let out a low growl.

"I have a car outside. Tinted windows. You need me," she said. Alec glowered at her.

"I do not."

"Maybe you don't, but she does," Bree said nodding at me. I perked up as suddenly I had been invited into conversation. "Apparently you don't know about the trackers that have been getting closer to you both. There's at least three separate predators in the Game."

"How do you know?" Alec asked suspiciously.

"Because I am the replacement mediator," she said cocking an brow over the rim of her glasses. "You're the one who breaks the rules and tells people about us who have no right in knowing. Like Edward. Of course I didn't want to participate in aiding you until I saw your eyes. I thought you both were Edward and Bella, that's when I decided to help you. I couldn't let those two die in spite of all they've been through." I was instantly fond of Bree.

I felt like a little kid all of the sudden. I just wanted to tug on Alec's arm, jump up and down, and say, "Can we keep her?"

"You, the mediator, want to break the rules and help me keep the human alive?" he asked suspiciously.

"I am not a mediator anymore, and you should thank your lucky stars about that. The mediator has permission to kill you at any time for your blatant rule breaking," Bree said.

"They'll kill you too for aiding us. And if you try to hurt my victim I will be forced to kill you," he said.

"I understand that. I've been a mediator for several years now," she said annoyed as though she'd just been patronized. "There is something very intriguing about those books though. The option of being a 'good guy' despite our centuries of sins. I'd like to redeem myself. If I die, then no one can say I didn't repent." Alec narrowed his eyes at her.

"I will not endanger the human. You'll be very dangerous if you start dieting now," he said. I couldn't see her desperation behind her dark lens, but I imagined it was there. She wanted to be a part of our little ragtag group.

"And when you need to hunt, who's going to watch her?" she asked. Alec's jaw tightened. This hit a nerve because he used to have to leave me alone when he hunted. I couldn't exactly come with him so he'd drop me off in some obscure place in the middle of the day while he ran out, grabbed a bite to eat and then came back as fast as he could.

"I won't leave you alone with her," he said.

"Naturally. Once this has started I can't be too close to her. However, I can watch her from afar," Bree said. It was weird because she had absolutely no chance of him saying yes until she brought up hunting. It was a good move on her part. "Two trackers are arriving at this airport after following a lead. Another one fell for that false lead to Washington."

"It's too late to buy new tickets," Alec said. Bree gave the smallest of grins, restraining to give a full blown smile. That is, until Alec stepped into her so that their noses were about an inch apart. I have to give Bree some credit because even I feared for her life that instant and she firmly stood her ground. "Take us to your car and may I remind you that if you come within three feet of my human I will confiscate your head from your shoulders."

With that he fell back into place beside me, grabbed my arm, and motioned for her to lead the way. Bree whisked us away that evening and she hasn't left us ever since. That was the first of our addition as we started the first ever, real life, "vegetarian" coven. At least the first that any of us know of for sure.

Funny how it started with Alec and me, and I'm not even a vampire. Bree is a very sweet person, but she has a bit of a temper. She made things interesting with an easily provoked Alec. That day when we left the airport Bree was given driving duty while Alec and I stayed in the back. Alec wouldn't take his eyes off of her for a second. So I used that time to get to know her a little bit more.

"So, Bree," I started. Alec was annoyed. I could tell he didn't want me to establish a relationship with the first person we decided on trusting in a month and a half. But think of it this way, I have not had female contact in all of this time. Not since Will, and he wasn't even technically a female. "Do you believe Twilight's real?"

"No," she said matter of factly, her red eyes glancing backward in the mirror every couple of seconds. I frowned. "I believe that some vampires wrote it for the sole purpose of aggravating the Volturi. Perhaps they're suicidal. Or maybe they are just challenging their authority."

The mention of Volturi made my heart jump, and everyone in the car probably heard it.

"The Volturi is real?" I asked.

"Of course. It's one of the few true bits in the Twilight books. I was surprised when it was mentioned. I have never gone to see them personally. I do not have a death wish. But every vampire over a decade old has heard their stories. They're very powerful," she said with a shudder. That made me nervous. I could see their black cloaks and red eyes too vividly from my own imagination.

"Are the names the same?"

"I don't know. No one really knows specifics without being a part of them. Usually when they visit someone they don't get the chance to tell anyone about it," she said.

"Do you have any abilities?"

"Why, yes. I have had the good fortune of being blessed with supernatural charm," she responded immediately.

I giggled then made the mistake of turning to Alec and saying, "I like her."

"Don't get too attached," he grumbled. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. Bree looked back at us from the driver's seat again. Naturally, her eyes drifted from the road too often. It was unnerving. Alec drove more human than he did. Her arm wrapped around her headrest and she turned to face me. Her eyes were always deciphering, not necessarily judging but she loves to figure people out.

"So... Would either of you like to explain to me what happened at the beginning of the Game? Why is Alba dead?" she asked. I looked to Alec. As I was anxious for a reaction. I still think he may have had something to do with that murder.

"We don't know. It wasn't me though," he said.

I wanted to think it was Nicholas. He was a murdering son of a bitch, so why shouldn't he be guilty?

"Wasn't me either," I chimed to accentuate Alec's innocence. Bree made a face that I thought must be disappointment. Maybe Bree wasn't very fond of Alba.

"I have to say, I was disappointed to discover you weren't Edward and Bella. You both look nothing like they're described, at least how I pictured them in my mind, but call me a hopeless romantic, I hoped there really was a love like that. One that can cross natural boundaries," she said her voice low.

"There is," I said. She glanced in the mirror.

"Oh?"

"Yes. Carlisle fell in love with Esme as she was dying. Rosalie loved Emmett the same way, enough that she would impose the same damnation on him, that she resented herself. Why shouldn't Edward love Bella? Just because they didn't meet as they were dying shouldn't make a difference," I stated ever at the ready to defend the family. Alec rolled his eyes. Bree patronized me with a shrug.

"Maybe," she said. Obviously she didn't believe me. Alec didn't either, but I'll show them both once I catch up with the Cullens.

It grew quiet. Too quiet. Quiet enough for me to say something stupid.

"Take Alec for instance. I would risk my life to save him from the Volturi," I said. Alec immediately grew wary. Bree once again had her attention on us. As soon as I realized what my words implied I immediately regretted them. Bad enough Alec was uncontrollably sexy as hell, but now I go and say something this to add to the awkwardness.

"He's my family," I explained to Bree. It was quiet again.

"Not to mention you owe me. I saved your life plenty of times, the least you could do is return the favor," Alec inputted. I smiled to myself.

"I'll give you that," I told him. Bree smiled to herself as though neither of us could see her in the mirror. As I remembered a past conversation I was struck with a brilliant idea. "Can we go to the bookstore whenever we stop? I want to look at something."

"No," Alec responded before I could even finish my sentence. "We have the books."

"I don't want to look at those books. I want to look at something that might help you and Bree with your diet issues," I said. Bree turned around again.

"That sounds like a good idea," she said eagerly. It was good to see I wasn't the only idealist in the car anymore. We didn't end up going that day. Alec was especially anxious for weeks after we found Bree, our mediator gone bad. Her diet was hard to control. It didn't really hit her until her first time hunting for animals that she was realized she was depriving herself.

She was careful to keep her distance and I was careful not to do anything stupid.


	15. Follower

Alec insists on seeing the reviews and private messages so he can see if it looks like any trackers have found this story, which was fun because a few readers had some interesting things to say to him. Thank you. That made my day.

Also, for the record, I'd like to add that Alec's opinions on the Cullens that I wrote in the Author/Narrator's notes do not reflect my own. He was just upset that my story so far has implied that they do exist. It's not my fault I happen to have overwhelming evidence, but Alec always has to have the last word.

* * *

So at this point we were two vampires, both recovering humanaholics, and a human who was slowly becoming the ultimate prey. We were an odd little bunch. Bree was not used to giving her undivided attention where Alec was beginning to thrive on it. I sneeze, and suddenly I must be sick and we have stop and get medicine. If I hold my breath for even a second it makes Alec stare at me. I slip in the shower and suddenly there's an entire rescue team throwing down the bathroom door and asking me if I'm bleeding.

It was annoying, but don't get me wrong. I love them more than anything and they tolerated me when I felt like being obnoxious. I bothered them both with my constant questioning, they both retaliated with bossing me around. It wasn't until Bree came along that I actually got a laptop to do all of this "fan fiction." She helped me convince him to get it. Bree softened up Alec, and I finished him off by begging and telling him it meant he wouldn't have to check his stocks through cell phone and internet cafe anymore.

Now where was I going with this entry?

Oh yeah. It's about time I told you about our first run-in.

Alec finally was able to trust Bree and I alone together for more than an hour. That in itself is quite an accomplishment. He decided to go hunting for big game and he deserved the break. Bree, who was quite the talker when we first met, grew quiet around me. I didn't want to make things harder on her than they already were, so I stayed quiet as long as was physically possible for me. She'd just hunted recently, so it was safe to go out in public. Luckily, the bookstores in the area were open late.

I was in a particularly good mood going up and down the aisles. Bree followed me, not looking for anything specific. We stopped in the Addiction/Recovery aisle and looked at Bree. She wasn't really paying attention with her thoughtful stare.

So I shrugged, grabbed an alcoholic's anonymous booklet and gave it to her. She was awake now. She took it from my hands and looked up.

"What is this?" she asked.

"I think this might help you," I told her. I'd been thinking about this for a while now. I knew Alec would scoff at it. He's been human-free for three years now. Bree's diet was going well, but it left her very aggravated most of the time. She has Alec to relate to when her restraint starts to weaken, but she also has to stay cooped up with a human all the time. That wasn't fair.

"I'm not an alcoholic," she said dryly.

"I know that, but the twelve steps are applied to a lot of things. Smokers use it, narcotics, over eaters, sex addicts. It's for weaning off all sorts of addictions." She hesitantly flipped it open. For those of you who don't know the twelve step program, its very spiritual oriented. Somehow this intrigued Bree more than I expected. She had somewhat of a religious background. She followed me around the store as I made my usual rounds to the teen fiction, science fiction, and fantasy books. Then a quick stop to the fiction and literature, and finally a glance at romance.

(Getting periodically stuck in airports has made me a huge Katie MacAlister fan. Now I'm addicted to romance too. Because that's just what I need. Another book addiction.)

So we stopped in the sitting area with my stack of books and Bree with her little blue blank cover AA book. I felt happy with my decision to share my idea with Bree. She looked like she was really getting into that little workbook thing. I could almost see her eyes going lighter when she looked up to check on me.

But her look was startled. She sat up, her head turning in the direction of the danger, like a bloodhound who'd just found a scent.

"What's wrong?" I asked immediately on my guard.

"Vampire," she mouthed wrinkling her nose. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't see the vampire she was talking about. Not like it mattered, because the training Alec had given me was running through my brain.

If there is a vampire nearby, never speak out loud.

Secondly do whatever my escort says.

Then of course in the event of being caught by one with no other option, don't make any sudden movements and beg. Keep them talking at all costs.

Bree took a glance at her surroundings and I awaited instruction from my escort. She looked behind us. There was an emergency exit. The problem was that it said it would set off the fire alarms if opened. But from the way Bree was anxiously looking towards the front it didn't look like we had much choice.

She exhaled and tucked the AA book into her coat. So we ended up stealing an AA book that night. She still has it too. We ran out the back door to the parking lot. Its hard to explain what happened after that because in times like this things move very, _very_ quickly.

Bree grabbed me and pulled me on her back. Instinctually my legs wrapped around her waist. She spun around and all of the sudden we were on the other end of the parking lot. There was a figure on the roof of that building we were just in. He was looking down at us watching. Then the door flew open and another vampire made his presence known. It wasn't Nicholas. In fact I still don't know who he was. Its not like I'm all that curious about his name.

"Interesting," the man purred sauntering toward us. Bree tried to make a run for it. Three quick movements and Bree and I appeared from here to there and back again. Each time we came to an abrupt stop the man appeared right in front of us blocking our escape.

Bree swore. When she was carrying me, she wasn't as fast as another vampire. She shrugged me off her shoulders, knowing that I knew to stay put. The man with his red eyes watched me intently.

"How on earth did he convince you to cheat with him? You are a mediator. You are meant to uphold the rules," he said. His head cocked to the side. "Has he acquired a mate?"

"No," Bree answered. "More like a partner. This is one Game the predator won't win."

"Sooner or later, the predator always wins," he said. Then in the blink of an Bree launched herself at him. I knew from reading that I didn't want to watch the killing of a vampire. I kept my eyes closed. I could hear their hard bodies colliding, growls purring ferociously, taunting. Wind wrapped around me when someone got to close. My heart was thundering. In the midst of the fight I remembered that there was another person. The one watching from the roof.

Bree must have known about him too. Her senses were much better than mine. It was then that I realized I was unguarded as long as Bree was fighting this other one. And what could I do? I did the only thing I could do. I stood in the cold dark and squeezed my eyes tighter awaiting whatever was in store for me.

My thoughts were interrupted by a monstrous roar followed by a piercing scream. I cringed, then realized that scream was male and the growling came to a sudden end as I heard the ripping of stone and scrapes against the asphalt.

Then it stopped. All I heard was breathing. My breathing. Two stone hands held me on either side of me.

Panic made me choke on my scream before it could ever find its way out. My eyes snapped open. I was relieved that my stare was level with a familiar chest. I looked up and saw familiar orange eyes. Without thinking I jumped at him and wrapped my arms around him. I'd never been so happy to see my vampire.

Alec, ever paranoid, came back early. It was a good thing he was there. It made Bree's fight against the other vampire that much easier with Alec to swoop in and help her out.

"It's okay, Jay," Alec said resting his cold hand on my back. He pulled me away, his nostrils flared. "Are you hurt? Are you bleeding?"

"No," I reported. Alec turned his back to me and met Bree the second she returned with a can of gasoline. I guess its a good thing we triggered the fire alarm. She poured it over the remnants of what I could only assume was once a vampire. She poured the can over it, careful to avert her eyes from Alec. I could see that much.

She threw a match on the squirming pile of ripped pieces. Her red eyes picked up with a defensive glare.

"I trusted you," Alec hissed. He was beyond angry. This was almost as bad as the day he yelled at me in his car the day he took me away from my home permanently.

"I had everything under control," Bree responded almost growling.

Bree was very good with dealing with Alec when he lost his temper. Alec has a tendency to throw furniture and pace violently to intimidate you. Bree stands still and waits for Alec to run out of steam, never backing down from her position, but standing her ground.

"Then how did they catch up to us?" he demanded.

"Neither of us knew they were that close behind us. I evacuated her the best I could, but I was followed. I threw myself in between her and a Game player, the threat is dead, I'd say I've done my job extremely well," Bree said. Alec was almost shaking with rage. I kept a fair distance between us as I stood beside him.

"The only reason she is still alive is because I came back!"

"I could have finished him off just fine on my own," Bree said between clenched teeth.

"Alec, calm down," I tried. He shot me a glance.

"You stay out of this! You just _had_ to go to the bookstore," he barked. When he yelled at me like that it was terrifying. It was like being yelled at by a father who never raises his voice. It made me feel as small and fragile as I am compared to a vampire. I can never just hold my ground like Bree does. I recovered and narrowed my eyes at him, trying to take Bree's example and not let him intimidate me.

"I am not a hamster. You can't just lock me up in a cage all day," I said, my voice not as defiant as it was intended to be.

"It's okay, Jay," Bree said more gently. Her arms crossed over her chest. She locked her jaw as she gracefully paced. "He's just worried about you. That does not, however, give him any right to yell at either of us. I need to cool off. I'm going hunting. I'll be back by morning." In an instant she took off toward the park. I silently prayed that no one would try to cross the already pissed off and bloodthirsty vampire there.

Alec relaxed a lot the moment she disappeared. His gaze dropped to the asphalt. I hadn't realized it, but during the fight chunks of the gravel were scattered and the black top was marred. The flaming body in the middle of the lot was growing. In the light I saw a familiar look on Alec's face. It was guilt.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked me quietly. I didn't answer his question.

"You need to apologize to her when she comes back," I said taking advantage of the fact that he was calm again. He crouched and turned his back to me, motioning for me to get on. I got into a piggy back position and adjusted myself until I was comfortable. He gently held my legs in place around him.

"I know," he answered quietly. He took us around to the front of the store where the car was parked. Bree had left the keys in the car door for us. The fire trucks were coming up the street just as we were leaving. I knew this meant that we were leaving soon, no doubt the better trackers were looking up arson fires as we spoke.

"I thought I saw something while Bree was fighting," I said.

"What did you see?" There was no seriousness in his voice. Most of the time I was the incompetent human who doesn't know what she's talking about. Especially when it came to vampires.

"Another person, I assumed he was a vampire, but he was standing on the roof watching us," I said. Alec shot me a glance. He thought for a moment and then walked around the car to open the door for me.

"Impossible. With Bree distracted, you were an easy target. If there was another one there you would be dead right now," he said. Sound familiar? Far too familiar to the way this all began in the first place with a dead mediator. I didn't think about this until later, I always have to second guess my sanity, because with everything I've been dealing with its not the most reliable source.

However I ended being right. There was someone else watching Alec, Bree, and me. We were being tracked by someone very, very talented.


	16. Suggesting the Queen of Hearts

**Alec would like me to add that I am an extremely unobservant human who does not know what she's talking about. But I'll tell you what I saw and you can make your own assumptions about Alec and Bree.

* * *

**

It was rainy where we were which meant that I could go out in the daytime if I played my cards right. Unfortunately, that wasn't going so well.

"Come on, Alec. I'm sure you want to get out there too," I said looking out the window as the droplets were sliding down the glass.

"No."

"But the rain was the whole reason we came here," I whined. Bree was sitting on the other hotel bed looking like she was on the verge of telling us both to shut up. She glared in my direction. I knew my pestering Alec wasn't going to get me anywhere. All I was doing was irritating him. Bree's patience had been especially short lately.

"Why don't you try sleeping?" Alec asked with fake smile. That was his favorite suggestion.

"Yeah, well why don't you try..." I grumbled under my breath, but he cut me off.

"Maybe you should consider the fact that I can hear your mumbling before you finish that sentence," Alec interrupted. Stupid vampire hearing...

I narrowed my eyes at him. At this point I hadn't slept in about three days. I was starting to look like a not-so pretty version of a vampire myself. My skin had gotten pale and there were dark shadows under my eyes. However, they still managed to come off looking beautiful and stunning, while I was just starting to look sick.

"Maybe I should run to the pharmacy and get some sleeping pills?" Bree suggested without looking at him. Bree still wasn't in the mood to talk to Alec. They were tense with each other, though they pretended that nothing was wrong. They never looked at each other in the eye. I felt like I was taking the brunt of their tension. I was a good distraction from the other vampire in the room.

"No," I protested. "They have a dependency risk."

"I don't mind. You could just use them the rest of your life," Alec suggested thoughtfully.

"Not like that's going to be very long," I grumbled. Alec visibly flinched, and Bree looked up from what she was doing to judge his reaction. He quickly turned from concerned, to scolding.

"Jay," Alec said in a warning tone. "That's not very good for morale." I snorted and plopped on the hotel bed, bouncing with the mattress.

"I'm sorry. I take it back. I'm going to live forever," I said with no sincerity.

"Good," Alec said distractedly. Alec glanced briefly at Bree. He was putting effort into making her feel better. "Maybe we could hit her in the head with a blunt object? That will put her out," he suggested just loud enough for me to hear. Bree's mouth twitched in the direction of a smile, but it didn't quite get there. She wasn't in the mood for any of his jokes at my expense.

"If you're so bored why don't you watch one of the movies you can order from the television?" Bree asked

"Because I've seen every movie, from every one of these hotels a thousand times," I complained. Then I sat up.

"Why don't you read a book?"

"I want to go outside," I said. Bree sighed heavily.

"Has it occurred to you that if we can go outside than other vampires can go outside as well?" Alec asked.

"So if I go outside, I get slaughtered. If I stay here, I die of boredom," I said. Alec rolled his eyes.

Suddenly Bree was struck with an idea. One that would change the way we stayed in hotels the rest of my life. She bent over the side of the bed, searching through the drawers which was habit to most people who go to hotels. She lifted the generic Gideon's Bible and found a paper and pen. Then she found something else.

A deck of cards.

Her brows went up. She looked from Alec to me.

"Do either of you play poker?" she asked.

"I played strip poker once," I confessed thoughtlessly. Alec made a face in my direction. I would never play strip poker with a vampire. Its bad enough they're impossibly beautiful in comparison with their clothes still on. A naked vampire? My ego doesn't need another blow.

"Its only fun with money," Alec said

"I have money," Bree said. They both looked at me. I smiled as pretty as I could in Alec's direction. He rolled his eyes.

"Isn't it bad enough that I buy you clothes, books, food, and hotel rooms? Humans are expensive to take care of. I'm not going to pay for a gambling habit," Alec said.

"I don't have money, but I do have something to offer," I said.

"Oh?" Alec said not quite taking me seriously.

"The ante for me is a fifteen minutes worth of silence. I'll owe you a certain amount of time of not talking that you have every right to activate at whenever you like," I offered. There was a stunned silence in the room. Alec and Bree exchanged a glance for the first time since the incident at the bookstore. Then Alec moved to the same bed Bree sat on and sat cross legged beside her.

"I'm in," he announced.

"Me too," Bree quickly followed. Alec dealt the cards with all the grace and perfection of a professional dealer. Bree caught her cards gracefully. Mine came at me too fast and hit me in the face. Alec shook his head at me muttering about human reflexes. I ignored him and took my hand.

We played like that for an hour until I noticed that Bree was folding her hands very quickly. Alec and I were usually left in the hand. Me chalking up another hour for my losses, and Alec handing me bills in tens and twenties.

I folded early in our game leaving Bree and Alec in the hand. I watched walking around to see Alec's hand and Bree's. Bree had a good hand, Alec was completely bluffing. Then I noticed Alec looking up and staring in Bree's direction. She met his eyes and then sighed at her cards.

"Maybe you should fold?" Alec suggested, his melodic voice singing its message.

"Don't fold," I coughed into my fist. Alec shot me a glance. That trick hardly works with humans, I'm not sure why I thought it would work with vampires.

"No Jay. It's okay," Bree said and then dropped her cards. "It's not that good of a hand anyway." She gently laid down her cards. Alec smirked and gathered the money. Then I looked to Alec suspiciously as he swooped his hand over the pile over cash and gathered it in his cold hands.

"You're cheating," I suddenly realized. Alec looked up, orange eyes full of innocence as if to say, 'Who? Me?' Suddenly I was sure. "You _are_ cheating!"

"How, pray tell, am I cheating?" Alec asked as cool as ever.

"You're using your suggestion," I said. Bree's head snapped into an upright position as she looked at Alec. Alec growled and gave me a death glare.

"Suggestion?" Bree asked. Her glare was ten times greater than his. The tension between them warned me that I was too fragile to get caught between them. Her wonderful voice turned to a venomous tone I didn't recognize. "When I asked you if you had any abilities, you said no." I must have not been conscious for the conversation she was talking about, because I don't remember her asking about his abilities. Either that or it was one of their super speedy conversations I couldn't keep up with.

"It's not a real ability. It is not very hard to block. I can't even suggest Jay anymore," he said defensively. It was true. I could block him, but only because it was easy for me to recognize when he was manipulating me. It was the same feeling I got when he tried to suggest that I sleep, or that I be quiet.

"It is not very hard to block, but only if you know someone is using it on you. You lied," Bree said offended. I looked at Alec, who opened his mouth to defend himself, but his words died in his throat. He knew he'd done wrong. Bree didn't even bother to look at me, her target locked on the vampire across from her.

"Jay, go wait in the bathroom," Bree instructed coldly. She usually was not in charge of me. I had to look at Alec to confirm the order. His muscles tensed. He didn't take his eyes off of Bree. Danger flickered in Bree's eyes, reflecting off of his.

"Go," Alec ordered me. I hesitated for a second, but eventually obeyed. This was one of those times when it was best not to argue. The bathroom was a part of the room with no windows and only one door. I didn't have to worry about any enemy vampires. My scent was protected from those in the hallway.

So I put the lid down on the toilet and used it as a chair. Any other time I would have sat there and complain about my bossy vampires, but this time I was interested. To be perfectly honest, part of me was worried that Bree was going to kill Alec by the look she was giving him.

Then the shouting started. I've been around vampires long enough to get bits and pieces of the super speedy conversations. They used it all the time, usually when they were talking about something they didn't want me to hear. Its kind of like listening to the fast speaking sports announcer on the Spanish radio station when you only know a few Spanish words. What I got from their shouting was this:

"You're still upset for my overreaction at the bookstore. I understand..."

"This has nothing to do with that, its the fact that I've been dieting, locked in the same place as another human, and I have not once seriously considered killing her! I think I have more than earned your trust." There was some quick murmuring that I couldn't decipher. Alec shouted back, and she started ranting again.

"You don't trust me! You came back early from hunting!"

"And its a good thing I did!"

"Its just a coincidence you happened to come back at a bad time."

"Bad time? You were fighting a Predator with Jaylin only a few yards away!"

"We were cornered! What was I supposed to do?"

"You should never have let her talk you into taking her out in the first place!"

"We can't keep her cooped up forever, Alec. Human or not."

"The hell we can't," he growled.

"Even Bella escaped from the Cullens eventually when they were protecting her. Sooner or later Jaylin is going to start getting desperate," Bree pointed out.

"The Cullens aren't real!" Alec roared in frustration. The walls vibrated at his great volume.

"That's not my point! My point is that you told me you didn't have any ability at all. That means if ever we went head to head, you didn't want me to know you had any sort of edge. You don't trust me," Bree said slowing down her words making it easier for me to overhear. "Alec, you have to trust _someone_. I'm your best bet."

"How can I trust you when you can't even take down a Predator on your own!" Alec burst. I cringed at that, sensing Bree's reaction of what he was saying even from a room away from them.

Suddenly there was a flurry of words between them. It was getting heated. Even though I was alone in the bathroom I was debating on intervening. Then there came a familiar roar followed by a bump on the wall. There were frantic movements on the other side. I could hear furniture snapping, bodies colliding and the television screen smashed against the other wall. Glass tinkled to the ground.

I covered my mouth to keep from screaming. Was there another vampire in there or were they fighting each other? I stood up quickly, ready to grab the door and try to break up the fight. As stupid of an idea as that sounds, I was just as ready to sacrifice myself for them as they were for me. What if one killed the other? Think about it.

But the moment I touched the door handle were was one final, wall-shattering crash. I opened the door. It was like a tornado had just swept through the hotel room. Half of the television was in sharp plastic pieces on the floor, the other half was still hanging by its cord that was plugged in the wall as it hung out the broken window.

One bed was in complete shreds. The other one was where Alec and Bree were, both of them black eyed. Bree was sitting on him, pinning him to the mattress. They're fists were clenched into one another cold hard throats, but they were frozen. Staring at one another.

The wall behind them was in pieces. There were clean holes that went all the way through. Good thing the next room was unoccupied.

"Um..." I said to interrupt them. Neither of them looked my way. It was like I wasn't even there to them. Alec smiled from underneath her.

"You're very good," he admitted through her strangle hold.

"Best mediator in the Game. I'm used to taking down cheaters," she choked to get the words out as Alec had her own throat clenched in his fist.

I don't know about them, but I was very aware that she was sitting on top of him, pinning him in a very compromised position. They stared one another down for a long moment. Then she grudgingly relaxed her grip. Alec also let her go. Bree gracefully rose to her feet and stepped down from the bed like a princess stepping from her throne.

"I'm going to go hunt," she said. Her eyes were onyx black. She walked past me very quickly. I kept myself still until she was out of the room. Then as the door closed behind her I relaxed. Alec had a perplexed look on his face as he still laid there on the ruined bed. He rose up on his elbow and leaned on it.

I half expected him to deem her too dangerous and to demand that we leave before she came back. If she could explode and attack him like that than I could only imagine what Alec thought she was going to do to me if I ever irritated her.

But he didn't demand anything. He just laid there. Then he looked at me. There was a strange smile on his face. It startled me.

"I'm feeling confident," he declared. I hesitated to answer. Then as soon as he saw my confused look, his smile dropped off of his face into his familiar frown.

"Really? Because it looks like Bree just kicked your ass," I said.

"That is why I'm feeling confident. She's strong. She has your best interest in mind. She's an excellent partner," he said his mood all of the sudden considerably lighter, despite the return of his scowl. That's when my suspicions started to rise. I think one vampire has a crush on another one.


	17. Nervous Breakdown

**Alec wants me to say (AGAIN) that I am an extremely unobservant human with an exceptional talent for misinterpreting vampires. Sorry I haven't been getting back to reviews. Alec has turned into a review Nazi. Weird stuff has been going down. If you have any questions or anything I'll try to answer in the beginning of thenext chapter. **

So a lot of you are probably wondering, how did this "fan fiction" come into play. Well, I mentioned it a little bit in the first chapter, it began with a terrible therapist. What led to the terrible therapist? It was a walk in the park with Alec. Bree hunts pretty often given how new she was to the diet. She tends to go for big game.

It was night and Alec's mood was getting better and better since there was no more tension between him and Bree (at least there was no more violent tension). We walked a while talking about certain things in our past. I knew most of Alec's history and he knew most of mine so we talked about families and friends we've had. It was a warmer night, especially given the time of year and I saw someone else walking towards us.

Until this point I had been doing very well living with Alec and Bree. We moved very often, like the nomads that vampires are. Slowly, I was beginning to adjust to this lifestyle though it was foreign to me.

Alec and I grew quiet as a woman came walking down the sidewalk. We moved off to one side giving them plenty of room to pass by us.

The person walking towards us was human, of course. Alec would be having a heart attack if she weren't, but that wasn't what caught my attention. She had a dog with her. An Alaskan malamute. They walked by us casually and Alec let them pass on the narrow sidewalk, but all I could do was sit there and stare at the dog that looked exactly like Jasper, (once again, the dog, not the vampire.)

Even as they were disappearing, all I could do was stare.

"Jay?" Alec said. I felt like I had to watch the woman and her dog walk down the sidewalk until they disappeared. I hadn't thought about what happened to Will and Jasper in a while. I was distracted by Bree and trying to survive, but now that it was becoming second nature I had more time for my thoughts. It was three months since it'd happened. But it hit me like the first time it happened and I started to flashback back to the incident. "Jay?"

"Yeah," I said. He looked concerned as usual. I couldn't comfort him with a sarcastic remark. We started to walk in silence again, but I was distraught with my thoughts.

I went back to think about Will, Jasper, Nicholas, and my old job. What did happen to the old me? I think that living with vampires made me kind of regress a little bit. I knew I acted like a spoiled five year old a lot of the time, but its hard not to being with people who boss you around and take care of you. I noticed not just how my life changed, but how I changed.

"You're not okay," Alec said. It wasn't a question. We walked a little bit in silence. Alec took a deep breath. I was quiet as I stared at my feet. "Jaylin. What's wrong?" He looked down at me. I could feel his gaze on me, but I was too busy trying to remember what Will looked like. How scared he must have been when Nicholas...

I know how scared I was in front of Nicholas. I know how scared I was when we were attacked at the bookstore. But to have that be the last feeling you ever have, before being brutally and painfully murdered.

"Jay?" I couldn't respond without bursting into tears. So I stared hard at the ground, determined not to answer and give my thoughts away. Alec knows me better than that though. He reached for my hand and held my wrist, with his thumb over my pulse.

* * *

I stayed like that for two days before Alec started to get frustrated with me. 

"Damn it, Jay!" I picked up my gaze and scowled at him. Bree was at the wheel of the car, Alec beside her turned around with his hand on the back of her seat. Bree watched from the rearview mirror, not at all paying attention to the road and getting away with it.

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" he asked.

I glared at him.

"Why won't you talk at all?" he asked.

"Jay, just shut him up and say something," she said with an unusual amount of playfulness. She smiled a little, knowing the best way to get her on my side was to tease Alec. Alec endured it on the small chance that I may actually listen to her. I didn't.

"Forget it," Alec said in frustration. I took the laptop and set it down on my lap. As mentioned before, I tend to spend my time reading fanfiction.So I busied myself, trying to ignore what was happening around me. I wanted to go back to the world where it was just Edward and Bella, where the only kidnapping a vampire did was when Alice took Bella hostage to do her nails or drag her to the mall, where there were werewolves right outside of town who can give you a break from overbearing vampires if you needed one.

The idea to put start this "fan fiction" didn't come to me then. I spent all my time updatingthe stories I already made, trying to lose myself in the fictionaladventures. Then I was interrupted.

"Jay?" I looked up at the red eyes in the rearview mirror. Bree, sometimes I swear she can read minds like Edward, somehow knew exactly what I was trying to avoid. "What happened at the beginning of the Game?" I was shocked. I debated on answering, but stubborn tears came to my eyes. There was no way I could give a response now. I felt my lip start to quiver. I hid behind the computer screen. Alec hissed something at her.

I didn't try to listen to them. I knew Alec was trying to tell her this wasn't a good topic to bring up. Obviously, she wasn't clued in to the whole beginnings of what happened to Will and Jasper. That was something Nicholashad neglected to tell her when he asked her to mediate the Game. After Bree mentioned this my mind went completely numb.

I couldn't read. I couldn't write. I couldn't think. All I could do was watch painfully as my memories started to resurface with excruciating detail.

So I took Alec's advice, tried to curl up in a ball and sleep. It didn't work. I just ended up dwelling more on the past going back even further to my family. I delved in the darkness of it all and curled my legs into me. I knew it might make Alec feel better if he thought I was sleeping. So I laid there in silence.

Whenthe memories stoppedflashing backI was left alone to think about them.

My life had become a play thing for monsters to toy with. It was like a Greek myth where the gods were cruel, bored creatures who liked to torture mortals. While I pondered the depressing meaning of my life my thoughts started to get darker and darker. What was in store for me? How long could I bealive?I could see my future, Alec and Bree running with me as a little old lady on their back. Assuming I was alive that long.

Alec was silent, I could sense his worry. Bree worried about both of us, because when I wasn't doing well, Alec wasn't doing well.

The car stopped at our next destination, Alec opened the door for me as Bree went to go check in our room ahead of us. He bent down so he was eye level with me.

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" he asked as gently as possible. "Do you want to go somewhere? The bookstore?" I shook my head, appreciating his concern and attempt to be sympathetic. He moved aside of the car door and let me stand. I grabbed what little belongings we had and dragged them out with me. As we walked Alec took a protective position, draping his arm over my shoulder and pulling me into him. That somewhat loving gesture made the tears overwhelm me. They started to silently spill over.

Alec was looking down at me, but I refused to look at him and acknowledge my crying.

"You're going to sleep when we get to the room," he said. I could only nod, though I knew that I would barely sleep at all.I didn't get any sleep. He was nice enough to sit on the bed with me and stay with while I tried.

I just ended up staring at the wall and thinking about the first time he sat beside me while I slept. The events that came afterward. It made me start to think about how this was going to play out in the long run.

How long would it be before someone caught up to Alec, Bree, and me?

What would happen to them once I was dead? They were going to be in trouble for helping me.

What if one day I did get cut and Bree or Alec could not pass up the temptation of my blood? Its still a possibility that haunts me even now.

I didn't careabout anything Alec and Bree were trying to work foranymore. I didn't care about the Game. I wasn't thinking about death, I just knew that I didn't want to bein _another_ hotel where we would leave the next eveningto go to _another _location.So I decided to do something about it.

I moved so casually, so gracefully, I felt like a vampire myself. I slipped out of bed and started to leave. Alec had moved over to the bed with Bree which they were sitting at talking at an inhuman rate. I guess the reason they didn't pick up on the fact that I was going toward the door was because it was so close to the bathroom.

I walked so quietly, without even debating on the consequences of my actions. I didn't even have shoes on at the time.I was following my own basic need to leave with no reason to. I wanted to leave my vampires behind. I didn't want to play the Game anymore. And (according to Alec) I must have become suicidal.

That's an exaggeration. I was going to go to the roof and throw myself off. I was just leaving. It's hard to explain. I guess there's a certain point when you're so fed up with everything that you just have this instinct to walk away from all of it. There's only so much a human can take.

I walked right past it to the door and calmly left the room like it was an everyday occurrence. It wasan amazing liberation to be without escorts for once. It made me smile. Then Iwalked downthe hallway, the florescent lighting blaring down on me. I knew I couldn't miss a beat because if I hesitated I would come to my senses and realize that what I was doing was insane.

Then as I went to the stairs I started to question myself. What was I doing? I was escaping my vampires. It was probably stupid to think this, but they didn't seem to be coming after me. I had acted on an impulse that I had no intention on acting on in the first place. Still lost in my trance I made it all the way downstairs, but the moment I got to the entrance doors Alec and Bree were waiting in front of me.

They both had the same look of puzzlement on their faces. I hesitated a second and then attempted to walk past them. Bree caught my arm. I wasn't a hard catch.

"Hello Jay. Where are you going?" Alec asked. I let my arm hang in Bree's grip.

"I don't know," I said honestly.

"You're not very good at this escaping thing," Alec pointed out. I sighed.

"I guess," I said blandly.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Leaving."

"Where?"

"I told you, I don't know," I laughed grimly. Everything seemed so at ease. So calm in my mind that everything entered it so matter of factly. The vampires just stared at me like I was insane. They had every right to. My attempt crazy, I realized, but it didn't make me want to leave them any less. "You're going to take me upstairs now, aren't you?"

"Yes," Alec said. He looked at Bree. She turned to me with a forced smile. She spoke slowly with an extra sweet tone, like she didn't want to startle me. I tolerated her patronizing.

"Jay, would you like me to pick you up something in town? A book maybe?" she asked me like she was talking me down from the edge of a building.

"No thanks," I said. Bree looked at Alec worriedly. He gave a subtle nod and tossed Bree the keys to the car. He turned me around, hands on my shoulders, and steered me to the elevators as he smiled politely at the night time desk clerk.

"Okay, Jaylin," he said as soon as the elevator doors closed. I readied myself for a barrage of questions. "So you don't talk for a week..."

"Two days," I corrected.

"... and then you become suicidal?" Alec asked.

"You'd still win the Game even if I did kill myself. As long as the Predator doesn't get to me first, right?" I regretted my words as soon as I said them, because I realized I was supporting his claim that I was suicidal. I was not going to slit my wrist or shoot myself. I was just going to go away and brave the vampires on my own. Sure, they'd catch up to me and I'd eventually get killed, but I wasn't going to inflict any damage of myself. I was taking the threat away from Alec and Bree.

Well, it made sense to me at the time. Maybe I was suicidal on some subconscious level, but it didn't feel like I was. I just didn't want to play the Game anymore, linger on one side of the chess board waiting for the other player to make their offensive move.

Alec looked horrified. He stared at me until the elevator doors opened. I stepped out first and went back to the hotel room door.

"Do you have the key? I didn't bring one," I said casually.

"You are beingvery, very strange," Alec said shuffling through his pocket and getting the card key. I patiently waited as he slid the card through the lock. The green button light blinked and we stepped inside. I sighed as I realized that I'd earned myself a lecture. I sat on the edge of the bed and awaited Alec's response. He pulled up a chair and sat across from me.

He stared at me and waited for me to speak.

"I'm not suicidal," I said.

He laughed.

"Oh. So I guess you walked outside in plain sight at night when there are homicidal vampires looking for you because...?" his voice trailed off meaning for me to finish the sentence. I rolled my eyes.

"I just wanted to leave. I didn't want to go kill myself."

"No, but you would have consequently gotten yourself killed," he argued. I started to say something but stopped. His orange eyes glared at me making me feel stupid and childish. I shrugged.

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again," I said softly. Alec sighed and dropped his head in his hands, massaging his temples. He sat in his chair leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. He anxiously watched me as I sat back on the bed innocently, trying to show him that I wasn't going to do anything insane.

"What am I going to do with you?" he groaned. The he perked. "Tomorrow you're going to a therapist," he declared. I scoffed, slowly returning to my old seld

"So someone can ask me how I feel about living with vampires?" I asked. He saw my point with a frown. I couldn't exactly talk to people about my situation.

"Perhaps... You can make up a regular human version of your story. Tell her about what happened in the beginning of the Game."

"You mean the part where a book came to life or the part where someone randomly decided that I should die for sport?" I grumbled.

"Jay, stop it. I meant the part about your friend," Alec growled. I quickly stopped myself from giving him any sort of reaction and stared at the television screen even though nothing was on it. He sighed. "I'm going to go hunting tomorrow. Bree will have to take you."

"It'll be like a fun girl's day out," I said sarcastically. "How are we supposed to find someone who will see me? I don't think they have any night time therapy sessions."

"We'll go in the early evening," he said. "It would probably be safest. There shouldn't be any other vampires out until a little bit later."

"One therapy session isn't going to do anything," I tried to tell him. We were never in the same place for very long. I couldn't really commit myself to an emotional healing process.

"Maybe we should get you on medication," he asked. "It wouldn't be difficult to steal from pharmacies."

"You are not qualified to put me on any medication, besides if you take the wrong kind of antidepressants they can make you even more depressed," I said. Alec chewed his lip in thought. He grumbled something under his breath.

"You **are** going to the therapist. Tell her something similar, but believable. We'll see if they'll recommend you any medication and go from there. We can't have you making our job anymore difficult than it already is," Alec said. I narrowed my eyes at him, hating being referred to as a burden.

I definitely understand Bella's wish to become a vampire and to not want to be a victim anymore. To not always be Lois Lane as she put it, because the truth is I am a burden. I'm always the one slowing them down.

I sighed heavily. I already knew the next day was going to suck.

* * *

When Bree came back she bought a DVD and then we realized there was no DVD player in the hotel room. Oh well, so we resorted to playing poker. At dawn Alec took the car to go hunting for bigger game. I slept a few hours which Bree was very happy about. Then it was time to go to the therapist. 

Let's call her Dr. Shelly. Bree and I took a cab down to the doctor's office. We started up the stairs, my footsteps echoing in the huge halls.

"I'll wait outside," Bree said.

"Aren't therapy sessions supposed to be private?" I asked her.

"That is why I'm waiting outside," she clarified patiently.

"But you'll be able to hear," I said. Bree was very much trying to resist the urge to roll her eyes, but she put on a smile instead.

"Just go inside, Jay," she ordered kindly. Seeing that I was irritating her, I let it go and went into Dr. Shelly's office. It was a regular office with the pink sky glowing through the window. The wrinkly old lady with glasses on the tip of her nose forced a smile and gestured to the couch.

"You must be Jaylin," she said. I didn't really tell her my real name, or the name Jaylin. Alec gave her another fake name. I nodded and sat down at the couch. It was kind of weird being in a small room with a human. It was definitely weird to be alone in a room with a window which is a huge no-no for me. I couldn't help but stare at it and hear Alec's warnings of being seen in the back of my mind. Being without my vampires was making me paranoid.

Dr. Shelly had to clear her throat to get my attention. I tore my attention away from the window.

"Why are you here?" was her first question. I had this big story conjured up that involved trauma without vampires, but that technically wasn't the problem. That was just something that happened. So I began with my problem.

"I don't sleep, I have really bad paranoia, I'm constantly stressed out and I think its making me sick all the time," I told her. She narrowed her eyes and picked up her hand.

"What?" she questioned. I thought for a moment. Had I said something wrong? "Honey, you are talking way too fast. I can't understand a word you're saying." I blinked at her in confusion and fought a smile.

It was then I realized that I was starting to adjust to vampire speed. With vampires rushing me around all the time I'd learned to speak very fast because of their impatience. I can talk as fast as I can and any vampire would still understand me easily. Granted, I don't talk as fast as a vampire, but I have a tendency to run my words together.

On the other hand, it'd been so long since I spent any time with any other humans that I forgot that humans don't expect you to talk as fast as you can to keep up with them.

So I repeated myself slowly barely able to keep myself from laughing as I did. I felt like I was patronizing the woman. She nodded at me and when she spoke I paid very close attention to the rate she was talking. Had it really been that long since I talked to humans?

"What brought you here?" she asked me. Still amazed of the difference between vampires and humans, I could hardly focus.

"Um..." I couldn't think of a lie. "My friends think I'm trying to commit suicide." Dr. Shelly looked confused.

"Are you?"

"I don't think so," I responded. She still looked incredibly confused. And so Bella was right (again) therapy doesn't work unless you tell someone the truth. And that wasn't an option for me.

"What do you mean you don't think so?"

"I mean..." I thought about that. What would be a good lie? I couldn't think of one. So instead I blurted something else. "I _may_ have had a nervous breakdown...Yeah, I guess that's what you would call it."

"What did you do?" Nothing. I hadn't really done anything if you really think about it. I just tried to go home, into a world where killer vampires were competing for my blood. I couldn't say that, of course. So I lied the lamest lie I could ever think of.

What would have equal significance in a regular human world?

"I... stole a car," I lied. The therapist just looked even more confused.

"How did you do that?"

"It was... my friend's car... I took his keys," I said slowly. I imagined what Bree must be thinking outside. What the hell was I doing? I let out a nervous laugh and leaned back on the couch. Talk about disaster. The only way it could get any worse was if a predator came crashing through the window. She must have seen the direction I was looking at because when I looked at her she was looking out the window too.

There was nothing out there but a setting sun. Finally I decided that I was going to stop making an ass out of myself. I wasn't going to waste any more of Alec's money.

"Okay," I said slapping my hands on my thighs and sitting up straight. "I've been having these problems sleeping and stuff since a... certain time in my life. Um... My friend and my dog were murdered in my apartment." I said this all very quickly and while it felt very good to get out Dr. Shelly just stared at me.

"Honey, slow down and tell me again." I looked down at my feet so she wouldn't see me roll my eyes. Then I repeated myself. The woman nodded.

"That must have been very hard for you," she said. Yeah. Very helpful.

"Yes," I said slightly agitated.

"It must have been very traumatic going through all the police work and court trials," she said. I blanked for only a moment. I hadn't done any of that. In fact we just picked up and left after that.

"Yeah," I lied.

"Did they ever catch the murderer?"

"No."

"Are you still living in the same apartment?"

"No." She sat forward in her chair that creaked as she moved. Then she folded her hands on her desk.

"These kind of situations where an individual suffers through something like this can be life changing. It can add unnecessary stress in your life too," she said. I stared at her not even dignifying that with a response. I wanted to just get up and leave. This wasn't worth any of Alec's money. "Many people find telling their story therapeutic. Sometimes validity helps people to accept what's happened. It can help your physical symptoms as well."

"So..."

"I think you should start a journal. Or maybe you can tell your story to America's Most Wanted to help catch the killer. I think what's lacking in your life is that you're not doing anything productive about what's happened," she said. I stared at her incredulous.

Really? That's all she had to say.

"I... guess," I said.

"What do you like to do?" Dr. Shelly asked.

"I read and write a lot."

"Then maybe you can write about it," she said. I bit back at retort as I suppressed to urge to tell her that there are copyright laws against writing what I had to say. That's when it hit me. Fan fiction. The Twilight fan and writer in me suddenly perked. Could I really write about all of this? Then I realized that I _really_ wanted to, even if homicidal vampires could read it.

The next thought as I was grinning like an idiot was: Alec is going to kill me.

"That's a good idea," I said. Not her idea. Mine was much better, I thought. Then I realized that it might not be the best idea to post the story on the internet to be read by any sentient creature: human, vampire, werewolf, and whatever else might be out there. So I went with the safer idea, a journal.

It was an excruciatingly long session. Most of it I spent glancing at the window, watching the sky turn black and thinking about the predators that lurked out there. I stayed silent for as long as I could and when it got uncomfortable I started to lie about things in my life. Mostly I gave her my ideal life, talking about my old hopes of becoming a writer and asked her about what books she liked. She informed me that I was stalling, and I informed her that I needed to use the restroom.

As soon as I left the room Bree was at my side.

"That was a waste of time," I said. It seemed wordlessly agreed that we were going to leave with fifteen minutes left to spare in the session.

"I told Alec it wouldn't work," Bree said. I shrugged. Never in a million years had I thought I would ever be escorted to therapy by vampires. "Not like that would have stopped him at all. You know he onlydid thisbecause he cares about you, right Jay?" I shrugged.

"I know," I said. We walked in silence which was strange because usually I wasn't allowed out in the open unless it was crowded, and in the times we travel crowds are hard to find. It was late and Bree was walking quickly, struggling to keep up with my pace.

"How's your diet going?" I asked her in casual conversation. She never answered me. That moment she made an abrupt turn into a super market and went straight to an aisle. I figured she didn't want to talk about it. Maybe it was strange to talk to someone who should be your next meal about how you're not going to eat them. She stopped in the school supplies and went through all the little booklets.

She picked one and then tucked it into her back pocket. I almost questioned her, but I knew better. She turned and started right back out the automatic doors with me right beside her. When we hit the sidewalk she started to flag down a cab. Her other hand took the booklet out and handed it to me.

"Here's your journal. Do not let Alec see it," she said.


	18. I am NOT dead

****

Here is note to Alec:

**1. I am NOT dead so email me as soon as vampirically possible. **

**2. Why the HELL did you change my password to fanfiction? It took me a WEEK to figure out what it was! Why didn't you just erase it like you said you would? Whatever. We'll discuss this later.**

**3. Call me at the number I emailed you. This is an emergency. The Game is not over!!**

* * *

I'm sorry to everyone else who is has been reading this. It's a very, very long story to how I got to this part. You have no idea how lucky I was to guess my own password because Alec changed it. I'm sorry if people thought I was dead. I came really, really, really close, but luckily I have found such things as lunatic vampires. You'll find out what that means eventually, don't worry. Until then, I'm going to keep writing, mostly out of defiance now. These vampires are really pissing me off (That's right Alec! That includes you!)

But to keep from confusing anymore I'll post what little I have saved. It's good to be back, and as always, its good to be alive. Here was what I wrote before my "death.":

**To answer the questions I got for last chapter: **

**To rumoredreader:** The Game mostly targets humans with little contacts for the sake of keeping vampires secret. You don't want to kill someone who has a family member that might want to investigate a suspicious death. Assuming Carlisle is real, even he managed to find a real life coven when he was human. They're not really focused on sparing human's feelings. They're only careful with the victims because the fewer suspicious people, the better.

**To Your.Manic.Depressant.Pen (and Masen13):** Honestly I don't know much about the book or Stephenie Meyer either. Neither does anyone I've run into. So I wish I could answer your question, but I can't... Also, to answer a previous question: No, I will never post a chapter that says 'Ha ha, this was just a big joke and you all fell for it'. Even if I was lying, I'm not that mean.

**To mgirl13:** Yeah, I'm not saying all therapists are bad. I've heard that a lot of times you just have to click well with another therapist to really get anything out of a session. This therapist and I did not click well.

**To Jacob4eva:** Wow, someone finally noticed that I used the name Alec like the one from the Volturi. Actually, that was an accident when I picked that name. I totally forgot about Alec until I reread New Moon and then I was like...Oh oops. To be honest, I just kind of liked that name. Also, yes, Alec and Bree should get together. Hopefully when Alec gets over himself he will and I'm sorry, but there is NO WAY Alec and I are getting together. That would be beyond weird.

**To Remember The Darkness:** You are Alec's new best friend for agreeing with him. He was very smug about that. However, he does not agree about the werewolves. Also, I don't know how the Volturi has not intervened yet either but I'm glad they haven't.

* * *

The next week or so was fantastic. Ever since I started writing in that journal everything was perfect. Of course, I had to sneak away to write in it. Most of the time locking myself in the hotel bathroom or hiding my mini-journal in my lap in the back of the car.

It had been weeks since our last in run-in (there was only the one at this point) and to be quite honest, we were getting a little smug. Alec thought my boasting about how we were the best game players in the history of vampires was amusing and Bree had to bring me down to earth pretty often. I stayed in the back of the car and surfed the web running the laptop's battery down until its last drop of power. Most of that time was spent looking up what books and movies were coming out and to read and write fan fiction.

Alec thought it was silly, but he knew not to criticize my hobbies. A bored Jaylin is not a fun Jaylin. So I continued doing what I was doing. The difference being that I had to write in my journal every so often to keep my sanity in check. Usually I resorted to this when the laptop battery died.

This day was bad because we were already about one hundred and twenty miles from our hotel when Alec from the front seat did his usual checks.

"Jay, did you remember the Twilight books or are we going to have to get new ones again?" he asked dryly. I glanced beside me at the backpack. I unzipped it and did a check.

"Yes," I said. Geez, you forget the books once and all of the sudden he's always got to keep asking about them.

"Good. We'll be easy to find if we leave a trail of those books wherever we go," he said. I rolled my eyes from the safety of being out of his vision. Then my mind went off taking inventory of the packing. Then I realized something horrifying.

The journal.

Dear God, I left the journal back at the hotel. My blood froze in my veins. I had visions of trackers coming just an hour after we left and walking through the bedroom on the tacky carpet. He would see the journal and pick it up, flip through the pages and know everything. Where we've been, places we planned on going, personal histories, weaknesses, our regular stops, story ideas for my fan fictions (on my other account of course, not this one). Things that would easily lead them right to us.

So maybe an uncensored journal wasn't the best idea.

"Um... Bree?" I said hesitantly. She turned around to look at me. "I think I left something at the hotel." She didn't understand my meaning at first. I was trying to be sneaky, hoping that she would see what I was trying to say, since the journal was our little secret. Of course Alec overheard.

"Forget about it. We're too far away."

"Its important," I pressed.

"What do you mean? We don't have anything important," Alec said looking back as Bree looked forward again. My heart sank, predicting this blow up. I took a deep breath.

"I've been keeping a journal," I mumbled in a low volume. The vampires could easily hear me. Bree suddenly swore under her breath and slowed to do a U-turn. Alec still wasn't sure what I was getting at. He turned around in his seat.

"Journal. Where did you get a journal?" I wasn't about to rat Bree out. I wanted to make up some story about how I, a mere human, somehow managed to get away from them for a split second and buy a journal with the money I won from poker. As if to sense the likeliness of my pathetic story, Bree chimed in.

"I gave it to her," she said bravely. Kudos to Bree. She was fearless of Alec. She turned to him with an innocent look as she did a death-defying U-turn that had me clawing to the seats for dear life. The smell of burning rubber went slowly faded but the tension didn't.

"Why the _hell _did you do that?" Alec said, his words starting to speed up.

"It was recommended by the therapist that _you_ sent her to," she said calmly.

"Has it ever occurred to you that having a record of everything we do might be a predator's dream come true?" he snapped. I sank in the backseat and closed my eyes. I felt horrible.

"Has it ever occurred to you that keeping said human in your custody sane might make things much easier for you? Jaylin has slept a full eight hours three days in a row. You were just talking about how wonderful that was," Bree said. His jaw clenched as he bit back saying something that was probably very nasty.

He was furious enough to rip open the car door as we were well over a hundred miles per hour.

"Alec!" I screamed, but he had already leapt out from the car and started running down the side of the road. Bree sighed as we watched Alec race ahead of us out of the headlights. I groaned and slumped in my seat.

This was by far the STUPIDEST thing I have ever done. As a matter of fact, it still is. I beat my head repeatedly on the window next to me.

"I am so sorry, Bree," I moaned in between thumps on the window.

"It was an accident," she whispered penting up obvious frustration. Her patience was more than I deserved.

"No. I'm really, really sorry. I am forever indebted to you... I... I already owe you my life, but this is too much. I cannot apologize enough," I begged. Bree's eyes flashed in the rearview mirror. Tears welled up in my eyes. I just wanted to melt away and die. Alec was going to be furious with Bree. It was all over a dumb mistake. It was my fault. I got careless forgetting that the Game was completely serious and I should have been paying closer attention.

Bree pulled up to the driveway of the hotel. She parked under the eaves of the building. I was still sulking and embarrassed in the backseat, while she didn't speak to me. I was crying silently, and even though she wasn't acknowledging it I knew she knew.

I wasn't worried about my safety. Normally the only time I'm worried is when presented with danger right in front of me. As soon as Bree braked the car a shadow fell down from some perch beside the car with an earth shattering quake that rattled the car. Through the car window I saw broken concrete in the sidewalk from where Alec had landed from our second story room.

Bree put the car in park and got out of the car, slamming the door behind her. I saw Alec and her walk up to the front. He said one thing. I couldn't hear them in the closed car. As soon as Bree responded, Alec got a troubled look. His face was absolute shock. Bree looked down at the ground and shook her head. Alec started to say something when Bree raised a finger to his lips. He looked stunned at the contact.

She said one more thing and then turned away.

Then she was gone. I turned to see the direction she'd run in, but she was out of sight too quickly. Something was very wrong. Alec was frozen for a brief moment, then he looked at me through the windshield. I would never know what words were exchanged there, but I have a feeling it might have been something personal between them. When Alec regained his bearings, he moved at an incomprehensible speed going to the driver's seat slamming on the gas. By now I knew to be ready to be going full speed down the street at any given time, so there wasn't much whip lash.

When things had calmed and we wound a few side streets we were still quiet.

"Bree won't be returning," he said. My eyes went wide. Immediately I started to panic.

"What? Alec, it was a stupid mistake. Bree was just trying to help me! Don't be mad at her! I left the journal, I screwed up-...!" I said tears pouring down my face. Alec looked in the rearview mirror with a new patience.

"I know. Bree made the decision. She just... needs a break. It's hard enough being cooped up with a human all day. She's going to hang back and try to track our predators. She'll come back eventually," he said. My lip was quivering. I blinked rapidly, trying to shed all the tears that were blocking my vision.

"Your journal wasn't there. There was another vampire's scent in the hotel room, but he's gone. Bree went after him. Did you write down our next location in the journal?" he asked.

I nodded feeling like the idiot I am as I admitted that. He simply gave an acknowledging nod. I hid behind his seat and closed my eyes. I couldn't even hope to go to sleep though. I wanted to just sit in the backseat and sulk some more. However, Alec was feeling generous.

"Jay, come sit up front," he ordered. I sighed, knowing that when he took that tone I could either do it willingly or wait for him to pull over and drag me to the front seat himself. I unbuckled myself and climbed awkwardly over the middle space in between the seats. I settled and put on my seat belt.

I stared at the road, half watching as Alec started to fall into old habits quietly calculating safest routes and glancing in the rearview mirror every five seconds. We really needed Bree. Alec always trusted her to also keep an eye out.

"Alec, I'm really sorry," I finally shattered the silence. He let my apology sink in. I could tell he'd already forgiven me for some reason.

"No. I understand why you did it," he responded. "I wish you hadn't left the journal behind, but I'm glad you found something that made you back to normal." He stared at the road and sighed.

"I'm sorry I chased off your girlfriend," I said lightly. He opened his mouth to deny his feelings for Bree for the millionth time. But he stopped himself.

"You didn't chase her off. Bree has been very good about controlling herself because of her diet. But there are things you don't know about her. Like how she cheated a few times," he said. I was absolutely stunned. Its weird to think that someone in your family was capable of murder. Its even weirder to completely understand and immediately excuse their behavior. I just hoped to God that Alec would not give me any details, like the victims' names. "She's trying very hard, but she's very frustrated with herself. It doesn't help that I'm not very patient with her."

"Or with anyone," I chimed in. He glared at me. "Sorry."

"I lost my temper with her more times than you saw," he said softly. Now I realized that he was feeling just as guilty as I was. It made me feel a little better. Maybe he was lying for my sake, but that doesn't seem like Alec's style.

I watched the stars get brighter as we got farther away from the city, having to resort to an alternate route.

"Boy, do we know how to clear a room or what?" I joked. He smiled a little.

"That we do, my little pawn," he agreed with a sulking sigh.

"Do we know who took my journal?" I asked.

"It's not Nicholas," he said answering my real question. Something about that let me down. Nicholas wasn't even among our top predators anymore. He might have been a good predator, but he doesn't seem to be very good at tracking other vampires.

I kind of hoped that it was Nicholas who took my journal. Not only had I written some things about him that I hope he gets the opportunity to read, but also I know Bree is very talented at mediating and killing cheaters. I know that if it were him who was nearby that she would tear him to shreds.

"Don't worry, Jay. We'll keep you safe," Alec said. His face was unfamiliar with his kind smile. "How long has it been since you've seen any other vampires?"

"I don't doubt you or Bree. I've seen you both in action and I don't think I have anything to worry about. I just feel bad," I told him.

"Bree is going to keep contact with us. She'll call and we'll keep her updated. She's just not going to be traveling with us for a while," he said.

"I guess we're going to go back to leaving me in sunny crowded plazas for hours while you go hunt," I said. Alec groaned internally. He hated doing that about as much as I did. It's one of the most boring things in the world, on top of adding to the paranoia of being left alone. We were quiet in our brooding for a moment, but I have to take care of Alec as much as he needs to take care of me.

"Can I drive?" I blurted. I was baiting him, he knew that. Our arguments were a wonderful distraction. Alec and I both loved going head to head.

"At your human speed? We'll never get anywhere going the speed limit," he said.

"Who ever said I drive the speed limit?" I contested.

"If you drive at vampire speed, then I don't trust your reflexes. I think I'll keep driving. Besides you don't have a license," he said. That was true. He shredded mine in his teeth before we even left my apartment when we first met. We bantered and argued the rest of the night like we used to. We talked about heated topics usually like politics and religion. The most disappointing parts of our conversation were when actually agreed on something and had nothing to fight about.

It wasn't until dawn that I found a real controversy and our playful arguing became serious.

"Hey Alec, what am I supposed to do now that I don't have a journal?" I asked. Alec pressed his lips together in thought. "Can I get another journal?"

"Are you insane?" he laughed with no real humor. "Absolutely not."

"But what am I going to do? The only thing keeping me sane was that journal," I said.

"I said no, Jay."

"What if you kept track of it? I just won't write down locations or anything anymore," I tried to press. He glared at me and held his unblinking stare making me feel uncomfortable. There's nothing that will shut you up faster than a vampire's glare. He only used it when I had stepped over the line.

"If you're going to keep trying to get another journal then I'm going to start using those hours of silence you owe me from poker," he said. I sighed and groaned. So the rule came about that there was no more journals allowed.

However, I never could leave one of Alec's rules unbroken.


End file.
